DEFINING LOVE
by fencejumper89
Summary: When their senior year at Dalton ends, Kurt notices something is wrong in Sebastian s life. There seems to be more behind his smile than meets the eye...even more than Sebastian himself knows. WARNINGS: Rape/ Non-Con, Graphic depictions of violence
1. Chapter 1

Just like every other teenager in Dalton, Sebastian Smythe had been expecting his 18th birthday like a child expects Christmas. His reasons were quite different though. Most teens rejoiced with the simple fact that they needed no permission from their parents anymore, they could legally drink and drive and many even got a car as present. For Sebastian it came down to one fact only. He would finally be able to leave his home and his father. He would escape the hell he had been living in for so many years.

The final year at Dalton was drawing to an end, everyone was excited and sad at the same time. Students talked about their plans regarding college, some would stay in Ohio, but most would move away. It was only two weeks more to go and then the big goodbye party, the long expected prom. But right now Sebastian couldn't care less about prom or anything like it. He was 18 and that was all that mattered.

Just like every other year, he had not been expecting any kindness, not even a congratulation from his father. He was used to that. The man was busy with more important stuff to even remember such events, and for Sebastian it was OK that way. In fact Sebastian preferred to not drive his dad´s attention on him, the mere thought of seeing him again sent shivers down his spine. His mind ran through those thoughts as he left the classroom, heading to the diner. Here and there students sent a brief "Congrats" his way which he replied only with a quick nod and a smirk. It was getting difficult sometimes to keep cool around everyone else, always having to put on his classic I-don´t-give-a-fuck-face. He had to survive the few days left of school and then he would move straight to New York, he wouldn't have to go home this time, and now that he was 18 his father couldn't make him go.

As Sebastian was about to enter the diner, he ran into Hunter.

"Watch your step, dude!" he said annoyed.

"Relax, man. Lately you seem to be on constant PMS!"

"Haha, very funny, Hunter…", Sebastian had no patience to deal with Hunter now.

"I was actually looking for you. There is someone waiting for you at the administration office. I think its your father...?" Hunter guessed from the similarity in the man's features with Sebastian's that it could be nobody else.

Sebastian's face turned pale, he rushed out without acknowledging Hunter. He locked himself in the next bathroom. His hands shook, his breathing was too quick and it made him dizzy. What did he want? What was he doing here? He couldn't simply "pick him up" anymore like before. Sebastian could refuse now, he was legally no longer under his care. Sebastian steadied himself against the sink, he watched his messed up self in the mirror and splashed cool water against his face. He needed to calm down. He couldn´t remember how he had managed to make it there, but suddenly he found himself standing in front of the administration office, struggling in an internal debate between knocking and turning back. He had not much chance to even think about his options, as the door suddenly opened and Sven Smythe emerged from the room. Sebastian instinctively took a step back. His father closed the door behind him and checked the corridor to make sure they were alone. His presence was intimidating, his black Armani suit, black shirt, black tie and perfectly shining shoes, it matched his cold indifference. The man looked at his son, who´s face had turned pale as paper.

"I have made the final payment to Dalton. I have fulfilled my legal duty. Now you are 18, means for me, you are no longer my problem", Sven stated. He fixed his tie around his neck and turned, ready to leave. His time was precious.

"Oh", he turned around one more time before leaving "do me and yourself a favor and quit using the Smythe name."

Sebastian was thankful that it had only been a minute, although it had seemed an hour. He forgot about dinner and headed straight back to his room.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Why were the last hours of class so endlessly long?, Kurt wondered. He couldn´t even focus anymore, in his mind he was already on holiday, having fun. He looked around the classroom and it seemed to him like everyone else was in the same situation. Not a soul was paying attention to the teacher. Everyone was either fumbling around on their cellphone or chatting with their neighbors, well…everyone except Sebastian, apparently. It was strange to see the meerkat so quiet, starring blankly out the window. He looked tired, almost worn out. Kurt had to admit, it felt quite well not having to hear his constant insults and arrogant comments for a change. Still, he couldn´t help but feeling a bit concerned.

At lunch all the boys gathered at the same table. They were planning what sounded like endless parties and fun. Kurt joined them and sat down next to Blaine. He looked around, Sebastian was missing. Actually, Kurt couldn´t recall the last time he had heard one of his nasty jokes. He lingered on the thought for a little too long but luckily the bell rang, reminding him of his appointment with the secretary. Kurt waved goodbye to everyone, took his bag and hurried out.

It was the greatest feeling in the world when the secretary received Kurt with a bright smile and handed him an envelope. He squeaked like a five year old girl when he opened it and read the letter from NYADA, confirming he been issued full scholarship.

"Congratulations, Kurt", the secretary said "I´m sure you will do great!".

She handed Kurt a bunch of papers he still needed to sign and he sat down, smiling wider with every sheet he wrote his name on. It was the best day of his life, he had to tell everyone, he had to call home, they would be so happy, he-

Someone knocked softly on the door.

"Come in", the secretary called out.

In stepped Sebastian Smythe. He spotted Kurt and almost regretted having chosen this moment to pop in. Why did the Lima looser have to show up just now?

"Should I come back later?", he asked politely.

"No, its alright, please take a seat, Sebastian", the lady said "Kurt is almost done".

Reluctantly Sebastian sat down on the chair farthest away from Kurt. The other boy looked up from his papers briefly, both breaking eye contact immediately and looking away. The woman retrieved a folder from the shelf and walked over to Sebastian.

"Ok, I just need you to sign this form here, please." She handed him a paper "NYADA usually takes about two weeks to evaluate scholarship applications. Since you´re filing a little late they might take up to a month. I will contact you when their letter comes in."

Sebastian nodded wordless, he signed and disappeared.

Kurt was confused, his thoughts kept him awake until late hours of the night. He didn´t know much about Sebastian, but one thing that every boy in Dalton knew was that the Smythes were vastly wealthy. So why on earth would Sebastian apply for a scholarship?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Finally it was there, the last day of all, the final class. The atmosphere was euphoric. And beside that, Kurt was already feeling on the top of the world with everyone congratulating him on the good news from NYADA. Everyone walked over and hugged him or shook his hand. When the bell rang for the last time, cheers and joyful shouting exploded. The students seemed more like a bunch of prisoners that had just been released from jail. When everything had calmed down and everybody started to empty the classroom, Kurt was still collecting his belongings. He had so much crap, he was always the last one to leave, because unlike the rest of the boys who just threw everything into their bags, he had to get everything neat and organized. But today he was surprisingly not the last one, Sebastian still sat on his spot with a vague expression, collecting his things. Kurt hesitated as he walked over to the other boy.

"Hey there", he said not quite sure of how to approach Sebastian. The taller boy just nodded, acknowledging his presence but he didn´t look up.

"Seb, is everything alright?", Kurt dared to ask carefully.

"Fine"

Sebastian stood up, grabbed his bag and walked out. Why the hell could people not mind their own business?


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reading this story! I don´t own Glee, only this story, which is inspired by several other fics from this fandom which I have loved to read. i fell so in love with some of Glee´s characters, especially Sebastian. So...This is my own little attempt of a story, hope you find some good in it. Please let me know what you think!**

Sebastian breathed in deeply, hesitating for a moment. He stood before the front door of his house for the last time. This would be the last time he ever set a foot inside it, so he promised to himself right there. Yes, he would just grab the things he really needed, only that what was absolutely essential, he had to be quick. He could not risk to be seen or heard. Then he would run, take a taxi and get as far from there as possible. God, it was all so familiar, so horribly familiar. The memories of the place made him tremble.

Sebastian shook, he had to stay focused and control his fear. He leaned softly against the door, sighing in relief when it yielded open. Sven Smythe was never home at this time. Friday evenings were spent in meetings with "business partners", that´s what he called that bunch of corrupt bastards. Sebastian remembered that all too well. His father never returned before 3 am and always he was drunk.

Still there were security cameras everywhere and Sven Smythe would soon find out that his son had been there.

Sebastian felt intimidated by the huge emptiness of the house. It was too big, too cold and so white and clean that it almost felt hypocrite. He hurried up the marble stairs straight into his former bedroom. He couldn't help the memories from flashing before his eyes. Somehow though Sebastian managed to toss a few clothes and personal items inside a small bag. He collected a few books, only his dearest and a photo frame with his mother's picture. And last a small box, hidden in his closet where he secretly kept some savings. He had known they would be necessary, anticipating that his father would sooner or later throw him out of the house.

Without even looking back, Sebastian took the bag and hurried down the stairs. He was so nervous, so consumed with paranoia, he felt like in a dream. He could hear his heart pounding so loud against his chest as he ran towards the door. He was almost there, a few steps, then he would be out, gone for good. He grabbed the doorknob, turning it to the side - the door was locked. He pulled and pushed, sweat starting to pour down his forehead.

"I thought I had made myself clear when last we spoke, Sebastian."

The cold voice made Sebastian freeze right there. He turned around, terrified and felt his blood run cold when he saw Sven Smythe standing only a few steps away. He leaned casually against the wall holding a glass of whiskey in his right hand, the left hand in his pocket. His face was almost mocking, like he was enjoying the fear in his son's eyes.

Sebastian tried desperately to push the door open, it was the only exit, the other way was being blocked by his father's figure.

Loud, devilish laughter escaped the older man's mouth as he watched the scene. Sebastian knew that sound, his father had been drinking, but was only fairly drunk, and in that state he was the most dangerous. Sebastian turned around abruptly and backed into a corner, trying to get as far from the now approaching man as was possible.

He was so close, Sebastian could feel his alcoholic breath against his face. It made him nauseous.

Sebastian couldn't bring himself to move. He felt the other man's hand taking him by the wrist. The grip tightened. His expressionless eyes suddenly turned wild. A sound of shattering glass followed as Sven Smythe crushed the whisky he was holding against the wall behind Sebastian's back. Ice and scotch splashed all over. The terrified boy winced, squeezed his eyes shut and tried to cover his head with his free arm. Sebastian felt warm liquid dripping down his legs. It soaked his pants and stained the floor. That was no whiskey. And then Sebastian felt a sharp pain, as his father slapped his cheek with all of his strength. He landed on the floor and blood started to pour from his nose. Before he could collect himself, the older man was on top of him, pinning him down with his knees. Sven Smythe looked down in disgust at the fag he had for a son. He rolled up the sleeves of his obviously too expensive shirt and started undoing his belt.

"Please...", Sebastian hissed, he begged him to stop. His voice was barely louder than a whisper as he wrapped his arms protectively around his head and cried. "P-please don't!"

Sven Smythe remained calm, his facial features unchanged.

"So...what did we say again? I'm having trouble recalling...", the man said sarcastically, his voice so low yet so frightening. He was enjoying himself as he watched Sebastian trembling and crying like a child.

"Oh, yes, of course. I remember now...I said...If you ever dared to show up or even dared to use the name Smythe again...I WOULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT YOUR SORRY ASS!", he yelled the final words out. The belt was in his hands now. And then he tuned down to a whisper again.

"...you know I always wished you had never been born. Guess what? Now you too will wish so...".

The first stroke hit Sebastian's face. His left cheek was cut open by the impact of the metal buckle. He felt fresh blood streaming down his face. A sharp pain spiked through his entire body, he could feel the belt hitting his stomach, his thighs, his arms…He cried out in pain and tears escaped from his eyes, mingling with the blood. Sebastian tried to crawl away from his father, feeling the pieces of broken glass digging into his palms and knees, but the man was much stronger and held him back easily. The belt kept coming over and over again, not a single inch of Sebastian's body was spared. He was sure his father would kill him this time and all he could do was scream, hoping someone would hear him. Sven was yelling at him, but Sebastian couldn´t process the words, he felt numb, there was no more strength in his arms and legs. Then suddenly all went black around him. Was this what it felt like to die?

Sven Smythe kept whipping his son until his screams had stopped and the boy lay unconscious on the floor, his clothes stained with blood everywhere.

The man stood up, filling a new glass of whiskey. He washed his hands and walked out of the kitchen, retreating to the hall.

XXXXXXXXXX

The coldness of the floor stirred Sebastian awake. He felt disoriented for a brief moment. Then he saw his own blood everywhere around and it reminded him immediately of where he was. God, he was still alive, how was that even possible? Everything hurt so bad, but he forced himself onto his feet anyway. The bag he had dropped upon his father´s assault still lay there next to the door. He picked it up and stumbled out of the house, he tripped immediately, falling to the floor. He was so dizzy. But he had to get away, he stood up again, the bag was so heavy all of the sudden. Sebastian could hear the sound of his troubled breathing, his head was pounding, he just focused on setting one foot in front of the other. He had to get to the road, but it was getting dark and he felt scared. What if his father noticed he was gone and went to look for him to finish his job? He forced his legs to move faster. Where was he going? What would become of him? He had to admit that he had not really planned the next step. Between now and NYADA (if he even got the scholarship) there was a gap of three months. The money wouldn´t suffice, oh God! He started to cry again as he dragged himself along the neighbor´s houses. He felt so helpless, nobody knew where he was or what had happened to him. Nobody would notice anyway, nobody would miss him, he realized. At that point Sebastian didn´t even know where he was standing anymore, his vision clouded again, his legs gave in and he slumped to the ground.

XXXXXX

Kurt loved his family and he loved spending time at home with them, but still he couldn´t resist the urge to squeak joyfully celebrating that he had the entire house for him alone for the next three months. It would all be his routine, his rules and on top of all he and his friends would have the place available for parties, practice or whatever they wanted. Many boys were already leaving town, but Blaine and Hunter were staying around for three more months, just like Kurt. NYADA wasn´t starting until the end of January and the holiday ahead looked like it was going to be the best of their lives.

Kurt changed into jeans and a sweater, tossing away his Dalton uniform, realizing that today he had worn it for the last time. He put some music on the stereo and walked out to the porch to enjoy the cold fresh air of the evening. He smiled brightly. Life was good!

Then a thought snapped him out of his ecstasy. Sebastian! Kurt didn´t know why he felt so affected by it, but something in Sebastian´s face had changed in the last few days and Kurt had felt kind of distressed by that. Sebastian had become so quiet, absent most of the time. The day at the office Sebastian had even looked sick. Kurt couldn´t get that image out of his mind. Sure, Sebastian wasn´t his friend, given the facts, many students even regarded him as Kurt´s enemy. And still, Kurt felt worried.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and instinctively called Blaine. It was amazing how they managed to remain close friends after they had broken up several months ago.

"Hey Kurt", the other greeted.

"Hi Blaine, are you busy?"

"Well, I already burnt my uniform, so today´s duty is already fulfilled…", Blaine laughed "Kurt? Everything alright?"

Kurt sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yes…no. No, definitely not" he admitted.

"What happened?" Blaine asked in concern.

"It´s Sebastian, he…he´s been acting so strange lately…"

"Yeah, I noticed that, too. Is he OK?"

"I don´t know, we are not close…"

Blaine had to laugh a little "Well that much is clear…"

"I just feel worried for some reason, look I don´t know if I´m overreacting, I just feel like there´s something very wrong…"

"Look Kurt, I´m not close to him either, but you know Sebastian is moody and if we´ve learned something from him, it´s that its better not to pry into his personal space…"

Blaine hoped Kurt would relax, but he remained quiet, obviously not eased by Blaine´s suggestion.

"If it helps you feel any better we could call some friends to see if they know something we don´t", Blaine suggested.

"Well, as far as I know he isn´t exactly close to…well, to anyone, right?" said Kurt and he couldn´t help but feeling sad about that.

"Nevermind, Blaine. Look, you´re probably right, I´m overreacting. I´ll take a shower and I call you later. We could go grab something for dinner if you like."

"Sounds great. I´ll be waiting!" said Blaine.

Kurt went back inside, trying to relax. It was useless, his mind didn´t cooperate. He had to make sure Sebastian was alright, otherwise he would not get any peace at all. Kurt took his phone again and dialed Sebastian´s number. It went straight to voice mail. That was never a good sign, Kurt thought and before he knew, he had already grabbed his coat, the car keys and was driving onto the road. Only one minute later he pulled over to the sidewalk and turned on his emergency lights. He was struck by the sudden realization that he didn´t have a clue where he was heading to, since he didn´t know where Sebastian lived. He pulled out his phone for the third time in the last hour and logged onto Dalton´s website. Some data of the students had to be displayed there, he hoped. Kurt sighed in relief as the link he tapped provided him with Sebastian´s address.

It was a highly wealthy neighborhood, Kurt noticed, and he had not expected anything other than that. He knew Sebastian´s dad was a state attorney and probably very snobby, judging by Sebastian´s attitude. The houses were so oversized, it was almost ridiculous. Kurt drove slowly, looking for the street where he was supposed to turn to the right according to- FUCK! he cursed as he stepped way too hard on the brake, halting the car abruptly. A limp body lay slumped on the sidewalk, next to the bushes. Kurt felt his blood freeze as he seemed to recognize the familiar uniform. He undid his belt , kicked the car door open and sprinted over to the man on the floor. Kurt crouched down and could barely keep himself from screaming. Sebastian´s distinct face was all covered with blood, his white shirt torn open and also bloody. One shoe was missing. Kurt slid his arm under Sebastian´s neck and held his head up carefully.

"Sebastian?", Kurt´s voice came out between sobs "God, what happened?" The boy´s eyes were barely open and he groaned softly.

Kurt´s heart resumed its normal pace as he realized Sebastian was alive and conscious.

"K-Kurt?", the other boy asked weakly, searching the eyes of the person that was holding him.

"Yes, Seb, it´s me…I got you"

Kurt lifted Sebastian into a sitting position. He was so weak, he let his head lean against Kurt´s chest, incapable of holding his own weight.

Kurt wrapped his arm around Sebastian´s body, realizing how cold the boy felt. God, how long had he been laying there like that? They needed to get to a hospital right away.

"Sebastian, what happened? Were you robbed?", Kurt asked, he didn´t want to panic, he had to remain calm, but Sebastian wasn´t giving him any answers.

He searched Sebastian´s pockets for a phone. Crap, the battery was dead. He pulled out his own.

"Seb, please, who should I call? Where is your house?"

Sebastian flinched, he winced and tried to free himself from Kurt´s arms.

"Sebastian, what´s your dad´s number?", Kurt insisted.

"No!", Sebastian yelled, he covered his ears with his hands.

"Easy, easy Seb, calm down", Kurt held him still the best he could. He was starting to panic as he noticed fresh blood leaking from Sebastian´s ear. He dialed 911, begging that the ambulance would hurry.

Miraculously only five minutes later Sebastian was being pulled up by the paramedics and Kurt was driving close behind the ambulance. He rushed inside the hospital and spotted Sebastian being taken to the E.R. A nurse noticed Kurt and called him over, bombarding him with questions immediately. It was too much for Kurt to handle, he was trying to keep up, running alongside the doctors that were rolling Sebastian into a room. He could hear Sebastian crying, he was so scared and in so much pain. Kurt was asked to stay outside , he tried to protest but without success.

"We will be with you in a moment, please wait here" one of the doctors said, serious concern drawn on his face.

Kurt had no choice, he had to let them do their job, but he felt so powerless sitting outside the room, waiting, trying to listen but at the same time not wanting to hear. He feared for the other boy´s life. Kurt had never been in a situation like this, he felt overwhelmed. Finally he settled down on the bench next to the door, throwing his head into his hands. He cried and prayed and cried even more.

After what seemed an eternity the door opened and Kurt jumped up from his seat. The lady gestured for him to sit back down and she joined him. She sighed deeply and forced a little smile.

"He´s going to be alright", she said. Kurt gasped for air and briefly looked towards the ceiling, mouthing a silent "Thank you".

The nurse was clearly in distress, like her eyes had also shed some tears.

"We need to know what happened. Sebastian is not cooperating with us", she said, looking at Kurt.

"I-I don´t know myself. I found him on the street like this, only a few blocks away from his house", Kurt explained.

"Are you related to him?", she asked carefully.

"No, he´s my friend at Dalton. We graduated today, it was our last day at school…"

"Do you know if he was going to meet someone or heading somewhere?"

"No, not at all. We are not too close"

"How were you able to find him?"

"I-I really don´t know. He had been acting strange lately and for some reason I worried. I tried calling him but he didn´t answer. I just-I felt uneasy and I decided to drive up to his house and on the way there I found him…"

Kurt was silent for a moment, realizing how uncommon the circumstances had actually been. His acts had been based on nothing more than a premonition. What if he hadn´t gone there?

"Alright, I will try to contact his family", the woman said. She searched through Sebastian´s file.

"Do you know his parents?", she asked Kurt.

"No, he doesn´t speak much about his personal life…"Kurt admitted.

"I can only find his father listed as emergency contact. I´ll give it a try", she dialed and waited.

"Hello, is this Mr. Sven Smythe?" she asked, putting him on speaker.

" _Yes"_

"I´m calling from St. Mary´s hospital. We have a badly injured boy here by the name of Sebastian Smythe. Sir, can you confirm if that is your son, please?"

" _He was_ "

Kurt and the nurse looked at each other in confusion.

"I´m sorry sir, I´m not following you…", the woman replied.

" _I said he was. If you have at least a minimum of brightness, lady, you can see in your file that the person you mention is already 18. According to the laws of the state of Ohio, I am not responsible for him any longer. Have a good night-"_

Kurt tried to process what he just had heard. This was unreal, nobody could possibly disregard their own child that way…sure Kurt had recognized some of Sebastian´s sarcasm and arrogant tone in this man, but despite all of Kurt´s differences with Sebastian, he never actually believed that Sebastian was a bad person. As a matter of fact, he didn´t believe anybody could be capable of such meanness. Apparently Sven Smythe had just proven him wrong.

The nurse bit her lip and silently lowered her view, closing the folder.

"I am so sorry", she said.

Kurt watched her as she seemed to share his pain, Sebastian´s pain. How could anyone stand a job like this, where you had to witness such things on a daily basis. She was probably new, for Kurt had never seen a doctor so empathic. Maybe after some time they got used to it, they toughened up. The pin on her white robe revealed her name.

"Thank you, Dr. Mayer", Kurt said.

Kurt held his head in his hands, breathing in deeply to keep himself calm. His eyes fell to the bag he had found Sebastian with. He picked it up and opened it. A few books, a wallet, personal documents, some clothes, and strangely enough a photo frame displaying the picture of a young beautiful woman. Kurt could recognize some of Sebastian´s features in her face. These were no items someone would just carry around every day. Kurt was confused.

Right then the door opened, the older doctor came out, looking rather worn out.

"How is Sebastian? Can I see him now?", Kurt burst out. The doctor looked confused to his colleague.

"Where are his parents?" he asked. She just shook her head no.

"He´s on his own, doctor", she stated.

"No", Kurt said firmly "He´s with me".

He stretched his hand out to the doctor, who hesitated first, but then shook it.

"I´m Kurt Hummel, Sebastian is my friend"

"I´m Dr. Henning" the man introduced himself. "Sebastian will be alright, we have disinfected the wounds and made a few stitches. He is on an IV now, we must hydrate him and pump in some pain killers and antibiotics."

Kurt nodded, taking in all the information.

"It is not yet clear what the scenario was and I do not wish to force any unnecessary statements out of Sebastian right now. Nevertheless, we will need more information for future investigation of the author of this attack. I cannot exclude the possibility that there has been a sexual assault as well." The doctor looked at Kurt, unsure if the boy was understanding what this implied.

Kurt listened attentively but felt nausea taking over him as he absorbed those last words.

"I´m afraid we will have to complete a rape kit"

Kurt just nodded automatically, although Dr. Henning wasn´t asking for his permission. Honestly Kurt had no idea what that procedure looked like and he was hardly following. Right now he was only looking to see Sebastian, make sure he was OK. The nurse guided Kurt inside, leaving both teens a bit of privacy. Sebastian lay on the cold bed, covered with a thin sheet. Only then under the bright light of the emergency room Kurt was able to really assess the magnitude of the damage that had been inflicted on Sebastian´s body. The doctors had washed off the blood, revealing the countless wounds and bruises. Only his face and arms were visible to Kurt, but he figured that the rest of his body was in similar condition. Kurt felt tears streaming down his face, the scene in front of him was too much for him to bare. But he had to be strong now, he wasn´t the victim here. Sebastian turned his aching head towards the other boy, searching for his eyes. Kurt approached the bed and instinctively reached out to hold Sebastian´s hand. He was wordless but his eyes revealed everything there was inside him at that moment, absolute panic.

Kurt slowly lifted his free hand and softly stroke Sebastian´s forehead. The boy flinched and like a reflex , he curled up, covering his head protectively with his arms.

Kurt snapped his hand back, he felt the natural instinct to embrace the other boy soothingly, but that would apparently be worse.

"Sebastian, it´s me, it´s Kurt. I´m not going to hurt you" he said softly. Sebastian didn´t react.

"Please don´t be afraid, Seb. You are safe, you are OK"

Sebastian´s shoulders seemed to relax a little. Kurt softly touched his hand again and when Sebastian accepted the contact, Kurt carefully lowered the boy´s arms so that he could see his face again. He counted four stitches on Sebastian´s left cheek, a swollen lip and his eyes puffy and red. Ever so gently Kurt lifted Sebastian´s chin to meet his eyes.

"You´re not alone, Seb. I´m going to look after you"

Sebastian was still wordless, but his body seemed to relax a little and his breathing steadied. Kurt had not even thought what he would do, what the next step was or how this kind of situation was to be managed, but leaving Sebastian was not an option. And without any hesitation he silently promised that he would do whatever it took to keep Sebastian safe.

XXXXXXX

Dr. Henning and Dr. Mayer returned.

"We better get this done soon so Sebastian can get some rest, alright?", the man said addressing Kurt.

He approached the bed and tried to establish eye contact with Sebastian, but the boy lowered his view immediately.

"Sebastian, do you know who did this to you?", he asked carefully.

Sebastian shook his head and curled up again, hiding his face in his arms.

"I´m sorry I push you, kid, but I need to know what happened so that we can help you, OK? Do you remember being unconscious at any moment during or after the assault?"

Sebastian didn´t answer, the images came rushing back to his mind, he remembered all too well, but he couldn´t bring himself to say anything out loud.

"Sebastian", the doctor started again, trying to be patient "The person who did this to you, did he _touch_ you?"

Kurt understood the implied question and apparently so did Sebastian, who winced and curled up tighter but still didn´t respond.

The doctor sighed in defeat, though a light went on in Kurt´s head and it made him hiccup from the terrible nausea. He immediately took Sebastian´s hand again. He understood the urge to get answers.

"Seb, please talk to us…you can simply nod or shake your head no if you prefer."

Still nothing.

Dr. Henning waved the nurse over.

"Ok Sebastian, we still need to complete a test on you, alright? It won´t be pleasant, but we need you to cooperate, OK? Dr. Mayer will take care of it and afterwards you can rest."

He turned to the young lady, asking her to call him when she was done.

She walked over and put a hand on Sebastian´s shoulder, softly rubbing his arm. Sebastian relaxed a little and eventually lowered his arms.

"There we go, sweetie. You´re going to be fine" she said, looking at him with a sweet smile. She carefully removed the IV needle from his hand. "Alright, now I need you to pull your knees up to your chest, and breathe deeply, OK?"

Sebastian looked like he wanted to cry. It broke her heart to have to put him through this.

"No, no, no crying honey, it will only take a few minutes, OK? We need you to be very brave, sweetheart", she said soothingly.

Sebastian obeyed reluctantly and the nurse carefully lowered his pants. Kurt noticed Sebastian´s cheeks flushing and decided he should give him some privacy.

"I´ll wait outside, Ok? I´m not going anywhere" he assured to Sebastian and retuned to the cold bench outside the room.

Kurt felt relief when he finally let the tears flow. There was a feeling manifesting in his stomach rather than in his heart, it was that indescribable certainty that his suspicions were confirmed. The words from Sebastian´s father, the application for scholarship, the contents of his bag…it all added up. Sebastian was running from home. He was running from his father.

Kurt felt exhausted, it was almost 11 pm. He checked his phone and found several messages and three unanswered calls from Blaine. He sighed, leaning back against the wall. He couldn´t deal with anything right now, he had to figure out what to do with Sebastian first, he could talk to Blaine later. What was he going to do with Sebastian? The doctors would probably need to keep him in the hospital for at least another day. And then?

A deafening scream tore Kurt away from his thoughts. He jumped out of the seat. The door flew open and he saw Dr. Mayer´s strangled expression.

"Please, help me", she gasped. Kurt rushed inside and found Sebastian crying desperately, his pants half down. Kurt instinctively wrapped his arms around him and Sebastian hid his face in Kurt´s chest. His shoulders shook so hard and he hiccupped and gasped for air.

"It´s Ok, it´s OK, I´m here", Kurt tried to soothe the other boy. He carefully readjusted Sebastian´s pants and rubbed his back.

"Kurt?"

It was the first thing Sebastian had said since they had arrived in the E.R.

"What is it?", Kurt asked softly holding him close.

"I´m cold"

Kurt felt Sebastian´s shivering body between his arms. He seemed so fragile.

"I wanna go, please…", he begged and it broke Kurt´s heart.

Alarmed by the scream, Dr. Henning had ran back to the E.R.

"What happened?", he asked in confusion when he saw the helpless look on his colleague´s face.

"He won´t let me even undress him, he´s too scared. I was afraid I´d hurt him if I forced him", she said apologizing.

"Ok, Ok, relax, Nina. You did the right thing", he told her. It seemed that only Kurt was able to calm the boy down.

"I´m sorry, Sebastian…" he said, knowing that the boy was probably not absorbing any of his words. He looked at Kurt now "The evidence is very important in case of a law suit, as you know, Mr. Hummel. But I´m afraid completing the test will do more harm than good."

Kurt nodded in agreement.

"Can I take Sebastian home now?" he asked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for the kind reviews, favs and follows. I hope you keep enjoying this story. Please keep reviewing :)**

The air outside was freezing but Kurt´s car was comfortably warm. Sebastian was dull from all the meds he had been given and Kurt was thankful because that was easier to handle than his panicked state. The boy was silent, trying to keep his eyes open.

Luckily Sebastian´s bag had contained some clothing, so they could get rid of his messed up uniform and he was now comfortably wearing fresh, clean sweatpants and a hoodie. Kurt glanced a few looks over to him but the blank, empty expression on his injured face made it impossible to figure out what was going through his mind.

Kurt drove slowly, he was pretty much sure that even the slightest movement increased the pain in Sebastian´s body.

"Kurt?" Sebastian´s small voice came out as a whimper.

Kurt´s head flipped to his right.

"Sebastian! What´s wrong?"

Sebastian´s hands were clutching his stomach and his face cramped.

"I think I´m going to be sick!"

Kurt pulled over quickly and undid Sebastian´s safety belt. Sebastian stumbled out of the car, he kneeled on the sidewalk and threw up the contents of his stomach. His throat burned and his stomach twisted painfully with every emptying.

Kurt knelt down by his side and rubbed his back softly.

"It´s OK Sebastian, the doctor said this could happen. Its due to all the medication. From what I see you were on an empty stomach, huh?"

He just nodded. Kurt took a few tissues and wiped Sebastian´s mouth and chin. A few tears that had escaped were gently dried.

"You think you´re done?", Kurt asked after a few minutes.

"Mhm"

"Alright then, let´s get home."

Sebastian looked up at Kurt.

"Home?", he asked with a hoarse voice and genuine confusion.

Kurt nodded and offered a shy smile to Sebastian.

"Yes Seb, home. You are staying with me."

He held out both hands helping Sebastian up and guided him back inside the car. He fastened the safety belt around Sebastian´s body. He was shivering again. Kurt took off his own coat and covered Sebastian.

"There you go, now let´s get you to bed."

For the first time that day Sebastian smiled. Even if it was barely appreciable, Kurt didn´t miss it and he felt that he was doing something right.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt opened the front door and guided a very sleepy Sebastian inside the house. It was almost 2:00 am and Kurt himself felt exhausted. Sebastian looked around but his mind was too tired to take in too many details. He let himself be guided to a room with white walls and a blue bed setting.

"This is going to be your room now", Kurt said, leading Sebastian to the bed. He winced when his body met the mattress. Kurt grabbed Sebastian´s bag and started to search through its contents.

"Seb, you have no pajamas in here, have you?"

Sebastian shook his head. Kurt went to look in his own closet for something suitable. He was a good few inches shorter than Sebastian, the flannel pants would not even reach his ankles and the summer pajamas were not an option in such cold weather. Kurt settled for one set he had gotten for last Christmas, which he hadn´t used because it was slightly oversized. He stopped at the kitchen to fetch a glass of water for Sebastian, he would be thirsty after throwing up that much.

When Kurt returned to the guest room he found Sebastian had fallen asleep on top of the covers without even removing his shoes. Kurt decided not to wake him, he sat down next to the sleeping boy. He took off his shoes and carefully tucked a pillow under his head. Then he retrieved a thick blanket from his own room and covered Sebastian´s cold body. Sebastian moaned softly but didn´t wake. Hesitantly Kurt reached out and ran his fingers through Sebastian´s hair softly. He watched him sleep for a while.

This version of Sebastian defied everything that Kurt thought he knew about him. How on earth was it possible that this boy, who Kurt had regarded as a narcissistic jerk, was now sleeping in his house, needy of protection, being taken care of by Kurt and yeah, good God, even depriving Kurt of his sleep because he was so worried about his wellbeing ? Certainly that was not an easy question to answer, for now Kurt only knew that he felt endlessly grateful that Sebastian was finally warm and safe.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Despite of his tiredness, Kurt stood up early in the morning. He peered quickly into Sebastian´s room and found him still asleep. Kurt took a quick shower, got dresses and headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. He decided it was worth to break his diet for once, he was starving and he knew Sebastian would also be hungry. He took out the waffle mix and made some hot chocolate. It was perfect for the cold Saturday morning. As he poured the mix into the waffle maker, Kurt took his phone and called his father.

"Hey dad, good morning"

"Kurt! Hi, you´re up early for a Saturday", Burt answered.

"Yeah, bad night, I couldn´t sleep. How´s Florida?"

"Nice and warm. We really miss you"

"Miss you guys, too. How are Carole and Finn doing?", Kurt asked, trying to hide his not so cheerful tone. He didn´t want to tell them anything about Sebastian yet, it was just too much to talk over the phone right now and he definitely didn´t want them to worry. They had been saving a long time to get a good, long holiday.

"They´re fine, too. You already enjoying your holiday, Kurt?"

"Yeah, dad…", Kurt knew he didn´t sound very authentic, but he blamed it on the early time of the morning.

"Ok kid, will you manage on your own?"

"Yep. I think so"

"Well otherwise you just give us a call, alright?"

"Ok dad, we´ll be in touch. Enjoy yourselves!"

"You too, honey"

Kurt hung up an set the last waffle on the pile. He heard the toilet flush upstairs, signaling Sebastian was already up. Kurt heard him slowly descending the stairs and he shyly entered the kitchen.

"Good morning Bas, how did you sleep?", Kurt asked.

"Good…", Sebastian answered, and sat down. He was still wearing the sweatpants and hoodie from the night before and his eyes looked sleepy with dark bags underneath them. His cheek was still swollen around the cut and his neck bruised.

"Are you hungry?", Kurt asked.

"Not really"

But when Sebastian spotted the pile of waffles and the chocolate sauce his stomach growled even for Kurt to hear. He loved waffles. Kurt shoved a plate over to him and poured a cup of hot chocolate. Then he served a nice portion for himself and sat down across Sebastian.

Sebastian ate slowly, taking small bites. It tasted wonderful, but his face muscles, his lips, everything hurt and even chewing seemed too big of a task. He glanced over to Kurt who was exaggerating with the syrup.

"Thought you were on a diet, princess", Sebastian tried to get his usual composure back.

"Well I am, but I´ll drop it…only for today"

"Why´s that?", Sebastian asked as he shoved his food around the plate.

"Because I´m starving and you are too"

"I think I´m done. My stomach feels funny…" Sebastian wrapped his arms around his abdomen.

"No, no, no, I didn´t just make this piece of art", Kurt said, pointing to the pile of waffles "at 7 am on a Saturday, so that you tell me you´re not touching it!" Kurt laughed a little, but he was actually concerned, he knew Sebastian needed to eat, because the meds he was taking would kill him if he took them on an empty stomach.

Sebastian kept pushing the bits of waffle around with his fork but managed to get a few mouthfuls down. He was very quiet, Kurt wasn´t sure of how to approach him and the silence was awkward. Sebastian drank a few sips of the hot chocolate before shoving away his dishes and excusing himself for not being able to take in more. Kurt took them over to the sink and sat down again, trying to get Sebastian to look at him, but the other boy was avoiding eye contact and shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Did you enjoy the waffles?" Kurt asked in a poor attempt to break the ice.

"Mhm" Sebastian nodded and mouthed a soft "Thank you".

"Welcome"

Kurt noticed that Sebastian was trying to avoid conversation. Still some things needed to be spoken of.

"So, how are you feeling?", he asked carefully.

"Fine"

Oh God, this was going to demand a lot of Kurt´s patience. Of course Sebastian was everything but fine, anyone could see that.

"So…thanks for letting me stay last night, I´ll pack my stuff and get going then", Sebastian started to get up, but Kurt reached out for his wrist and stopped him.

"Hey hey, sit down, Bas", Kurt softly pushed him back down to his chair.

Sebastian´s eyes kept starring at the floor.

"I told you you are staying here, OK? You´re not in a condition to go anywhere right now"

"But I-I have to go and…and…" Sebastian started but cut off mid sentence. He knew of course there was nowhere he could go, nobody with whom he could stay. He was homeless, friendless, with little money and on top of all, he was physically incapable of going farther than one or two blocks before eventually fading. Sebastian´s cheeks flushed a little and he couldn´t stop his eyes from gathering salty water that threatened to run down his face any moment.

Kurt´s hand softly lifted Sebastian´s chin and when they established eye contact Sebastian´s lips were already trembling, he was on the verge of crying.

"Seb, its alright, I really want you to stay here. For as long as you need. Just let me help you, please"

"Why-why are you doing this? We are not friends…" Sebastian said, genuinely confused. One tear escaped his eye and he lowered his view again.

"So let´s start over" Kurt suggested and stretched out his right hand, inviting Sebastian to shake it. And Sebastian accepted.

"My name´s Kurt Hummel, it´s a pleasure to meet you. Would you like to be my friend?"

Sebastian smiled a little and his eyes betrayed him as they let the tears fall freely. He felt Kurt slightly squeezing his hand.

"I-I´m Sebastian Smythe…no, j-just S-Sebastian…" he hiccupped and started to sob. He covered his eyes with his elbow.

Kurt pulled Sebastian into a tight hug and waited patiently for him to calm down.

"Everything´s gonna be fine, Sebastian. I promise" Kurt rubbed the boy´s back soothingly until the sobs stopped. Then Sebastian carefully pulled away, wiping his eyes with his sleeves. Then he wrapped his arms around his stomach and whimpered softly.

"Can I go back to bed for a little longer?", Sebastian asked shyly.

"Of course, Seb, whatever you need. Go get some more sleep. I´ll be cleaning up. If you need anything just let me know, OK?"

Sebastian nodded and got up. He thanked Kurt once more and retreated back to the guest room.

Kurt sighed deeply, he rubbed his temples. He needed answers, but that would have to wait a little. Right now Kurt needed to talk to someone and that someone could be no other than Blaine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to each and everyone who follows favs and reviews! You inspire me**

"Princess Kurt, should I keep waiting for your call?" Blaine wasn´t mad, but Kurt better have a good excuse for not answering five calls and eight messages.

"Hey Blaine, I´m so sorry, I´ve been through hell…" Kurt didn´t know where to begin, he held his phone against his ear and walked around the kitchen table as he started to describe the events of the previous night.

"Oh my God", it was all that Blaine managed to say when Kurt had finished the story.

"Yeah, I know…"

"Is he going to stay at your place? Does your family know?", Blaine worried.

"Yes he´s staying here and no, they don´t know…yet"

"They would be as incredulous as I am right know. You and Sebastian under the same roof, that´s headlines for the front page of the Sunday edition…"

"I know, I can´t believe it myself yet. But, Blaine, you would never recognize him, this is another Sebastian, I´ve never seen anybody so scared."

"The poor thing."

"Please don´t tell any of the guys, I don´t think Sebastian would want this to be public. I tell you because its you, but that´s it."

"Sure, Kurt. Do you need help? Should I come over?", Blaine offered.

"I think right now he prefers to be alone. But I´ll call you. Right now I need to figure out the best way to help him feel better and fix things."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt cleaned up, he washed the dishes, he made his bed, he took the trash out and then he checked on Sebastian. He was still asleep.

Kurt vacuumed, did some laundry, he made lunch and set the table. Again he checked on Sebastian, and again he was still asleep. In the end Kurt had lunch alone, starring at the empty plate and untouched fork and knife across the table.

Kurt washed the dishes again, he organized his closet, getting rid of things he didn´t really use anymore. He did some ironing…Jesus, there were no more home duties left to attend and Sebastian was still sleeping. Kurt watched some TV in the living room and as the afternoon drove to an end and it was getting dark outside, Kurt dragged himself upstairs one more time and sneaked into the guest room very quietly.

"Seb, are you up?", he whispered.

No answer. Kurt approached and slowly sat down the bedside and put a hand on Sebastian´s shoulder. The other boy´s eyes opened instantly and he rolled on his back, looking disoriented at Kurt.

"Hey there, sleeping beauty!", Kurt teased.

"Mmmm" Sebastian pouted and rubbed his eyes.

"You´ve slept through the day."

"Really?", Sebastian recognized the dark sky outside the window. Wow, he really had slept that long? He forced himself into a seating position and pulled the blanket up to his neck.

"Are you feeling better?", Kurt asked.

"Mhm", Sebastian replied.

"You wanna have some dinner?"

Sebastian shook his head.

"I can order a pizza if you like", Kurt offered.

Sebastian shook his head again.

"But you love pizza…if I order one, will you have a slice?"

Sebastian hesitated.

"Maybe", he said.

Kurt could live with a maybe. He would have to break his diet yet again, but if it meant Sebastian would eat, then he was willing to do it. He could start a strict salad regime afterwards.

"Can I borrow a towel? I really would love to shower", Sebastian asked.

Kurt fetched fresh towels and showed Sebastian the bathroom. While he was showering, Kurt ordered the pizza with extra pepperoni and he opened the windows to let some fresh air into the room. He pulled Sebastian´s blanket aside and readjusted the sheets and pillows. He was pulling the blanket back over the bed when he spotted a fairly large blood stain on one of the pillows. It was still fresh.

Sebastian reappeared with a new pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved T-Shirt. Was he intentionally trying to keep his wounds and bruises covered? His hair was wet and his cheeks bright red. Judging by the steam that came from the open bathroom door, Kurt figured that Sebastian must have taken a way too hot shower.

"Seb", Kurt held up the stained pillow "are you bleeding?" he asked and immediately spotted a tiny strand of blood coming from Sebastian´s ear.

Sebastian must have felt it, too, as he lifted his hand towards his ear and wiped away the blood.

"It´s Ok, it´s nothing", he said "I´m fine."

He sat down on the freshly made bed and Kurt closed the window. The air was freezing cold and Sebastian´s body was steaming, he could easily catch a cold, Kurt thought.

Kurt sat down on the bedside, close to the other boy.

"Does your ear hurt?"

"No"

Kurt was getting used to this kind of evasive answers.

"Well tomorrow you need to be checked by the doctor again. We can ask him to take a closer look at that."

Sebastian bit his lip, he didn´t want to go to the hospital again, he hated doctors. Anyway he nodded.

"Pizza is on its way!", Kurt smiled brightly at Sebastian, hoping to encourage a smile on his lips as well. But again he just nodded.

Kurt was a rather sensitive guy, usually he knew how to be gentle and comforting, but with Sebastian he was stepping onto unfamiliar territory and he felt utter useless all of the sudden.

"Sebastian..", he started after a prolonged silence "I know this is not easy, I don´t want to push…can you just tell me, very briefly, what happened?"

Sebastian shifted uncomfortably, his hands clutched the blanket and he looked to the wall, consciously avoiding Kurt´s eyes. He didn´t say anything.

"Seb?", Kurt asked softly.

"You don´t have to tell me any details if you don´t feel like it, so please…just tell me what I need to know to be able to help you"

"What do you want to know?" Sebastian said, his voice was a mix of fear and anger.

Kurt hated to make Sebastian upset, but he needed to assemble the puzzle if he was going to be of any help. Kurt lifted Sebastian´s bag which was still partially unpacked and he placed it in his lap.

"Were you leaving home?", Kurt asked very carefully.

Sebastian took the bag from Kurt´s lap and held it tightly. He pressed his lips together and felt tears starting to gather in his eyes. But he had to control them. So he simply nodded, still not looking at Kurt.

"OK", Kurt whispered "Is that why you applied for the scholarship?"

Another simple nod followed.

"So, what happened yesterday, you know, before I found you?"

"I was robbed", this time Sebastian´s reply came right away, automatically, like a programmed lie.

Kurt very much doubted this version for one simple reason.

"What did they take from you?", he asked.

Sebastian had no answer for that. He knew Kurt had found his documents, wallet and his phone when he found him on the street, and all those had been safely stuck in his pockets. If someone had wanted to rob him, it wouldn´t have been difficult.

Sebastian stared out the window.

Kurt moved a few inches closer and softly put his hand on top of Sebastian´s. His head turned in Kurt´s direction and his eyes fell on that hand that was gently touching him.

Kurt rubbed it softly. His free hand reached out to Sebastian´s cheek and he carefully turned the boy´s head to the side to get a better look at his ear, which was still bleeding a little. Sebastian winced a little and put his own palm over his ear.

"Bas, who hurt you like this?", Kurt asked.

Sebastian felt more tears filling his eyes. He gasped for air and tried his best to suppress the crying, but he failed miserably. Silent tears began to run down his cheeks.

"No, please, don´t cry, Sebastian, its OK…I´m really sorry that I put you through this, I only want to help"

Sebastian wiped at his eyes angrily, he pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face in his elbows.

Kurt felt so helpless, his hands were trembling as he reached out to hold Sebastian, but he didn´t know if he would want that. Right now Sebastian seemed like a fragile crystal figure that could break even with the softest touch.

Kurt was about to cry himself as he heard his friend sob louder into his knees. _Please, God, help me here_ …he begged in his head.

"Sebastian, was it…", Kurt hesitated "Wa-was it your...your _dad_?"

The sobbing stopped right away. Sebastian lifted his head and now looked Kurt straight into the eyes.

Sebastian started to cry again, harder this time and no longer caring to hide it from Kurt. His face was turning deep red and the sobs came out louder and more desperate. It shocked Kurt, he reached out to hold Sebastian.

"Seb, calm down, please…you can tell me"

Sebastian felt Kurt´s fingers on his cheeks, attempting to wipe away his tears and he jumped up from bed. Kurt looked at him in shock.

"What do you want from me?!", Sebastian yelled out.

"I- I…I want to help!", Kurt held up his open hands, trying to make Sebastian understand that he was not a threat.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sebastian screamed, covering his ears with his hands. He turned and ran out. He wanted to be left alone, this was non of Kurt´s fucking business. The only place Sebastian found to isolate himself was the bathroom. He slummed the door shut and locked himself in.

Kurt sighed deeply rubbing the back of his neck. Had he just screwed up? He wanted to make things better but apparently was making them worse. This was way more complicated than he had expected. The door bell rang, that was probably the damn pizza. Kurt hurried down the stairs and picked up the square box. It smelled so good and the box was nice and warm. But he was no longer in a pizza mood. He left it on the kitchen table and went back upstairs. He knocked on the bathroom door. No answer.

Kurt leaned against the wall and slid down until he was crouching down.

"Seb?", he said "Can we talk?"

There was absolute silence but Kurt knew that Sebastian was there and that he was listening.

"The pizza is here, it smells so good…I bet you´re hungry. Do you wanna try some?"

Still nothing. Kurt stretched out his legs on the floor. This was going to be a long night.

"Seb? Please, open up. I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to upset you."

"Leave" Sebastian´s voice sounded hoarse.

"Not without you", Kurt replied.

"I don´t want to talk"

"Then I won´t make you, I promise. But please, just come out of there…Let us eat the pizza and then go to sleep", Kurt suggested hopefully.

"I´m not hungry"

"You need to eat something, Bas. At least a little"

"Don´t want to!"

"OK, but you need to take your meds at least"

"I don´t care"

Kurt sighed in defeat. He remained in his spot next to the door, he didn´t know for how long. What could he say that would comfort Sebastian? That everything was alright? No, nothing was alright and it wouldn´t be for God knows how long. He didn´t know how to fix Sebastian, he was totally clueless, but he would stay right beside him until he figured out a way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Had he really fallen asleep? Kurt looked at his watch. It was 10 pm already, means he had slept next to the bathroom door for almost an hour. He rubbed his tired eyes and one more time knocked hopefully on the door.

"Come on, Sebastian. This isn´t funny…you need to take your antibiotics and you need to rest"

Silence…

"Please, Seb…I swear I won´t ask any questions…"

Silence…

Several minutes went by and Kurt felt unsettled. He couldn´t even hear him move in there.

Instinctively he took his phone and texted Blaine.

" _Blaine I need help_ "

 _"_ _What is it?_ "

Kurt explained the situation and Blaine suggested he should force the door open. But there was no way to unlock it from outside and he was not nearly strong enough to kick it open.

" _I´ll come over"_

Ten minutes later Blaine was standing on the porch. Kurt opened the door and immediately fell into Blaine´s arms. Blaine hugged him.

"God, Blaine, thanks for coming. I feel so overwhelmed, I don´t know what to do."

"Its OK, I´m here. How long has he been in there?"

"More than three hours"

Blaine studied the locked door. There seemed to be no other option than kicking it open.

Kurt tried one more time to talk to Sebastian, but when no response came he agreed with Blaine that there was no pint in stretching this out any further. Blaine hit the edge of the wooden door with his shoulder. It yielded a bit, but not enough. He tried again with more strength and this time it gave in. Blaine stumbled to the floor. Luckily Sebastian was farther away and wasn´t hit.

Kurt helped Blaine up and they found Sebastian slumped against the bath tub staring at the wall like he was hypnotized. His eyes didn´t acknowledge the other boys.

Blaine quickly closed the window.

"God, its freezing in here", he said.

Kurt crouched down.

"Sebastian?", he asked softly. He waved his hand before Sebastian´s eyes.

His pupils moved and he looked at Kurt and Blaine as if they were a riddle. He was so pale, it was scary.

Kurt put a hand on Sebastian´s arm and squeezed it gently. His blinked a few times, but didn´t react further than that. He looked so tired. Kurt lifted his hand and carefully cupped Sebastian´s cheek. The boy leaned into it, he sighed and his eyelids closed.

"He´s cold, Blaine. We need to get him off the floor, he´ll get sick"

Blaine kneeled down next to Kurt.

"Sebastian, I´m gonna get you back to your room, OK?", he said before he put one arm around his back and the other under his knees. Sebastian wasn´t heavy at all. Blaine easily carried him over to his bed. Kurt pulled aside the blankets and Blaine laid the cold boy down. Kurt pulled the covers up to his chin and adjusted them around his body. Then he tuned the heater on.

Sebastian´s eyes were closed, he shivered a little and mumbled a few lose words that Kurt and Blaine didn´t understand.

They stepped outside the room to let him sleep.

"Is he going to be alright, Kurt?", Blaine asked in worry.

"I-I don´t know", Kurt stuttered and before he knew he was crying silently into Blaine´s shoulder.

Blaine rubbed his back.

"You want me to stay?", he offered.

Kurt wiped his eyes and tried to regain his composure.

"Don´t worry Blaine. I can manage. Thank you for coming."

"OK, but you call me if you need me, right? No matter the hour, understand?"

Kurt nodded and smiled. Blaine was an angel. He accompanied him outside and watched him drive off into the night.

Kurt returned upstairs. The light in Sebastian´s room was still on. Kurt tiptoed over to the nightstand and switched off the lamp light. He made his way out as silently as possible and closed the door, leaving a small gap open.

"Kurt?", he heard Sebastian´s small voice.

Kurt set a foot back inside the room.

"Seb? I thought you were asleep"

He walked over to the bed again. This time he kept a prudent distance, though. He didn´t want to scare Sebastian.

"What is it? Are you OK?", he asked. There was silence for a moment before Sebastian spoke.

"Can you stay a little?"

In the darkness of the room Kurt couldn´t see Sebastian´s face clearly, but he was sure, that his eyes were pleading, as was his voice.

"Of course", Kurt said. He sat down on the carpeted floor next to the bed and waited for Sebastian to let him know what he needed.

He sat there, he could hear Sebastian breathing. Had he fallen asleep? Maybe, but Kurt remained on his spot, just in case Sebastian needed him.

"I only wanted to get my things…"

Kurt´s eyes that were nearly giving in to the tiredness opened wide when he heard Sebastian´s voice. He opened his mouth, but decided to let Sebastian do the talking, at his own pace.

"He didn´t want to see me, he told me I was disowned and…and…"

Sebastian breathed in deep to remain calm. His hands were clutching the covers. For some reason it was easier to speak when it was dark around. He knew Kurt was listening, but he would not see the fear on his face.

"He wasn´t supposed to be in the house…he-he…he is never around on Fridays, you know?"

Kurt moved a little closer, Sebastian´s breathing was getting agitated. There was a long pause.

"He was drinking and when he saw me he- he- he slapped me and I fell…", Sebastian broke down and despite all his effort to control the tears he was once again crying.

"H-he t-took his b-belt and he b-b-beat me and he s-screamed-", the sobs were out of his control and Sebastian was unable to form any more words. He gasped for air and cried into his palms.

It broke Kurt´s heart. He lifted himself, sat down on the bedside and wrapped his arms around Sebastian´s frame. Kurt felt hot tears soaking his shirt as Sebastian cried into his shoulder. He moved one hand up to the back of the boy´s head and gently stroke his hair. Sebastian´s shoulders shook with every sob and his fingers clutched Kurt´s shirt.

A bit of moonlight had sneaked in through the window making the body in his arms visible for Kurt. He couldn´t believe that someone was capable of hurting their own kid in such a way. No one deserved this.

"It´s not m-my fault, I didn´t choose it", Sebastian muffled into Kurt´s shirt.

Kurt carefully pulled Sebastian apart from his chest and looked into his eyes.

"What are you talking about?", he asked.

Sebastian sniffled.

"B-being a d-disgusting fag!", he cried even harder now "Better he had killed me…"

Kurt pulled him back towards his chest and held him very, very tight.

"No, don´t say that ! You´re nothing of that, Seb! You are a wonderful, special, beautiful young man and you have nothing to be ashamed of…"

"I don´t want to see him again", Sebastian cried and there was the hint of a plea in his voice.

"You won´t, Seb, ever again. I won´t let him or anybody else hurt you… I will take care of you…"

Kurt didn´t let go, he held Sebastian close until he felt his body relax. Only when the sobs and sniffles had stopped completely, he carefully helped Sebastian laying down again and tucked him in.

"Go to sleep now, Bas. You´ll feel better tomorrow…I promise", Kurt whispered.

He remained at the bedside, holding Sebastian´s hand for several minutes until he was sure the boy had fallen asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everybody. Thank you all for you reviews. I hope I can deliver this story as beautifully as I see it in my mind...**

 **Remember, reviews are hugs!**

The next morning Sebastian woke up feeling so much better. For the first time in the last few weeks he had actually rested. No dreams, no nightmares, just cozy sleep. His body still hurt, but it was lessening. He came downstairs to the kitchen and found Kurt preparing what looked like a poisonous celery-chard smoothie.

"Morning", Sebastian mumbled, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

"Morning, Seb! Would you like some of my super special "forever young" formula?"

Kurt had already poured a glass for Sebastian, not minding how the other boy rolled his eyes at the sight of it.

He looked in disgust at the green mix and sniffed at it.

"This is gross", Sebastian pushed away the glass.

Kurt pushed it over towards Sebastian again.

"Come on, just give it a chance. It´s great for the skin!"

"That´s so gay", Sebastian said "even for someone as gay as you, Kurt"

"Well, Mr. Straight", Kurt mocked and brought the glass to his own lips "you don´t know what you´re missing out on".

"I know I´m gay but not as gay as you are. You take it to another lev el!"

Now it was Kurt´s turn to roll his eyes.

"And you just wish you would be on that level, dear, but that ship´s sailed !"

"Oh, excuse me, your majesty. What level am I on?", Sebastian dramatized.

"On a pathetic meerkat- level apparently…"

Both had to laugh at the stupid contents of the conversation they were having.

Sebastian had a bowl of cereal and orange juice. They had breakfast in silence, but somehow it wasn´t uncomfortable this time.

"I´m sorry", Sebastian said after a while.

"Don´t worry, it´s not your fault, you´ll get to my level, eventually", Kurt teased and winked at Sebastian.

"I wasn´t referring to that", Sebastian´s cheeks flushed a little as he said it. Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I´m sorry about yesterday…", Sebastian admitted as he briefly looked at Kurt "you know…for giving you a hard time…".

Kurt was actually positively impressed. He had never seen Sebastian so shy and uncomfortable in his own skin. He even thought that Sebastian didn´t possess the ability to blush.

"It´s OK, Seb".

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The day was grey and cold. Kurt and Sebastian settled in the living room to watch some TV. They were still not sure of how to act around each other. The sudden shift in their lives was attempting to question everything they knew or thought they knew about each other.

For the main part Sebastian was very quiet and shy, but now and then his former cocky, sarcastic face made an appearance. Kurt on the other hand was constantly glancing over to the other boy, always alert for signs of pain. The wounds on Sebastian´s poor body were still too fresh to disregard. But mostly Kurt watched his own words and moves when he was around Sebastian. He knew that a wrong question or a harsh move would scare the boy r cause him to close into himself. Kurt was pretty sure that Sebastian´s story, given the facts, had to be complicated and not an easy topic to address, he would have to be patient until Sebastian was ready to tell him. Maybe he never would, though. Kurt would respect his decision, but he desperately wanted to help and make things better for Sebastian.

"I´d like to go outside for a while", Sebastian said, looking out the window.

Four hours of TV had worn both of them off.

"You mean out on the porch for fresh air?", Kurt asked.

"Don´t know, just outside. A walk maybe?"

Kurt wasn´t sure that was a good idea. It was way too cold and Sebastian didn´t look like he could take to much of that. But for the first time since his arrival at Kurt´s place he was asking for something and the way his eyes smiled a little when he suggested a walk, it made Kurt agree to it.

"But! You are going t wear warm clothes, Mister!", Kurt said.

Sebastian nodded eagerly and went upstairs to his room to get his things. Kurt picked the keys and a thick coat and gloves for himself. He was thinking of possible spots where he could take Sebastian as he waited for him in the hallway. He reappeared wearing a slightly thicker hoodie.

"Seb, you´re going to freeze!"

Sebastian hid his hands in his pockets and looked to the floor. He coughed a bit.

"I-I don´t have anything", he admitted.

Of course, Kurt cursed himself for being so stupid. He hurried to his room and grabbed a few things from the closet. Sebastian put one of Finn´s coats since Kurt´s wouldn´t fit and he took a pair of gloves.

"Wait, that´s not enough", Kurt stopped Sebastian, who was already heading to the door.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. Kurt was such a grandma! He brought a scarf and wrapped it around Sebastian´s neck.

"Seriously, Kurt?"

"Yes, dead serious. Got as problem with that?", Kurt replied as he adjusted the scarf on Sebastian.

Sebastian knew there was no point in fighting this, luckily the scarf was simple and black and not furry and pink, which would have been typical from Kurt.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The park was quiet and beautiful, a small pond, swans, birds singing in the trees and a lot of fallen leafs forming a crunchy carpet underneath their feet. It wasn´t crowded at all, only a few old couples, a few little kids and a strange pair of boys.

Sebastian loved the fresh air hitting his face. It hurt a little, especially on his cut, but it felt good. The boys walked around the pond, both lost in thoughts. A mother duck and a queue of her babies made their way towards the water. Sebastian´s eyes followed them. The mother jumped into the pond and the first four little ones followed her. Though the fifth one stayed behind, afraid of joining the others in the icy water. Sebastian approached slowly and crouched down. Ever so gently, he caught the little duck in his hands and held it there for a moment, running his fingertips over its soft feathers.

Kurt watched from a distance. It was one of the sweetest sights he had seen in his life. Wow, he had no idea Sebastian´s smile could be so bright. It was beautiful actually… Sebastian lowered his hands and carefully set the small animal in the water with its siblings. He let his own hands play with the cold water for a while. Kurt sat down in the grass and watched in fascination at the peace written all over Sebastian´s face. And he wondered again, how the same person that had been so cruel to him and others was at the same time so sensitive and so full of love.

Sebastian saw Kurt and joined him on the grass. His hands were freezing from the water and he stuck them inside his pockets. Kurt watched Sebastian from the corner of his eye. He didn´t want to be caught watching, but he couldn´t drag his eyes from the smile on his lips.

"Sooo, did I choose a good place?", Kurt inquired.

"It´s not that bad…"; Sebastian replied.

"Come on, you can do better than that…"

Sebastian rolled his eyes , but he laughed at the same time.

"Ok, it´s…kind of nice", he said.

Kurt laughed inside, it was actually kind of cute how Sebastian always tried to play the cool-whatever-character even when it was so obvious how he was enjoying himself.

Kurt spotted a snack a few feet away. The smell of freshly baked pastries made his mouth water.

"Wait here", he said to Sebastian and hurried over. Kurt came back with two warm pretzels with butter. He sat down again and handed one to Sebastian. He smiled in surprise and bit off a piece that was almost too big to chew. Kurt smiled a the sight of it. He didn´t know when his brain had given the order to his left hand, but suddenly he found it reaching over t Sebastian´s forehead and pushing a few strains of hair back. His hand lingered on the taller boy´s face and softly caressed his cheek. Both boys were surprised at the sudden display of affection, but Sebastian didn´t pull away and Kurt was thankful for that. Yet he was puzzled by his own acts, what had that just been?, he asked himself as he hid his hands in his coat again. What was that feeling in his stomach? Butterflies? No…that wasn´t possible…was it? Kurt´s cheeks blushed a little at the thought of that.

It was getting dark already and Sebastian was starting to shiver.

"Come on, Seb. Time to get home", Kurt said. He offered his hand and helped Sebastian up "I don´t want you to turn into a human popsicle."

As they made their way home, Kurt remembered that they actually had to go to the doctor. He had rescheduled Sebastian´s checkup that had been due the day before. Kurt checked his watch, they were still on time to make it and he knew it was important that Sebastian got checked. But when he thought of how upset Sebastian had gotten at the hospital and whenever Kurt mentioned anything related to it, he felt unsettled. Sebastian had just enjoyed himself so much today and Kurt didn´t have the heart to pain him, not even a little, and definitely not today. He would have to reschedule again for tomorrow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The house was nicely warm. It felt great after the icy November afternoon outside. Finn´s coat was thick and warm and Sebastian was also wearing gloves and a scarf, so why was he still so so so cold? He felt his hands and his legs shaking.

"Seb, are you OK? Your lips are blue!"

Kurt cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

Sebastian as usual just shook his head, as if Kurt was silly enough to buy that. He held the back of his hand against Sebastian´s cheek.

"You´re freezing. I´ll make you a hot bath, OK?"

"No, no, I´m fine, really", Sebastian protested.

"I wasn´t asking. I´m making you a bath, end of discussion!", Kurt finished the subject and headed to the bathroom.

What could Sebastian do, but roll his eyes? He removed a few layers of clothes until he was wearing only his shirt and boxers.

"Come in, its ready!", Kurt called.

Sebastian hesitantly made his way in. God, was that really a bubble bath Kurt had arranged for him? Because there were bubbles all the way up to the ceiling.

"Like it?", Kurt asked, checking the water temperature before he got up and handed Sebastian his towel.

"It smells girly", Sebastian said.

"Strawberry-vanilla scent by Victoria´s Secret"

Sebastian sighed deeply.

"You are hopeless, Hummel."

"You´ll see", Kurt assured him before he left the room.

The hot water stung on his injured spots, but Sebastian had t admit he was actually loving the bubbles. He felt like a child splashing and popping bubbles, it was ridiculous, but it felt good…

Kurt was making a cup of tea when Sebastian showed up.

"Looks like someone enjoyed the Hummel-Spa, huh?", Kurt teased.

Sebastian gave him his silly meerkat look, the same he made every time he thought it would be too gay or too stupid to admit something. Kurt had learned to read him really quick. He served Sebastian a cup of tea and he felt relieved that his hands were n longer shaking and his lips had returned to their normal soft pink.

Sebastian took it and excused himself.

"I think I´ll go to bed. I´m really tired", he said.

"Sure, Seb. You look like you could use some sleep."

Sebastian was walking out the kitchen when he stopped and turned around to face Kurt.

"Thank you…for today", he said shyly. His eyes always wandered to a random spot on the floor when he thanked, when he apologized, when he confessed something. But somehow Kurt always managed to established eye contact with him.

"I´m glad you enjoyed", Kurt smiled brightly at him "Sleep tight, Sebastian."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt wasn´t sleepy at all. It was past midnight and he was still on the phone with Blaine. He had called to inquire about Sebastian and to make sure he and Kurt hadn´t killed each other by now.

"Today was really different, Blaine. It was nice."

"Sounds like he´s doing better. Although I don´t think he´s gotten over it. I don´t wanna be pessimistic, Kurt, I´m just saying keep an eye on him."

"I will. I just think…I think this is the real Sebastian. And he´s not a douche at all…"

"This is bizarre, Kurt. I never thought I´d hear you liking Sebastian."

"Whatever, Blaine…well, we´ve talked for like two hours, I´m going to bed."

"Me, too. I´ll call you tomorrow, we should definitely go out and do something. I´m so bored."

"Sure, night Blaine."

"Night, Kurt."

Kurt got up and went through his skin regime. No matter the hour, he never went to bed without completing it. He was heading back to his bedroom and passed by Sebastian´s room and heard muffled sounds. Kurt leaned his ear against the door. He heard it again. He carefully opened the door, the room was dark.

"Seb?", he whispered.

" _Sorry_ " Sebastian´s voice was strangled.

Kurt approached the bed. Sebastian was shifting from one side to the other.

" _I´m sorry, dad!"_

Kurt switched on the lamplight, Sebastian´s eyes were closed, he was having a nightmare. Kurt shook him gently, but he didn´t wake up.

" _Mooom_!", Sebastians cried out desperately.

"Sebastian, wake up. It´s just a dream!", Kurt shook him harder.

Sebastian´s eyes snapped open and he automatically pulled away from whoever was sitting next to him. He was gasping for air, still not recognizing where he currently was.

"Sebastian, it´s me, it´s Kurt"

Sebastian´s hands clutched the blanket, he looked around and the room was familiar, as was Kurt.

He felt uncomfortably warm, he was soaked in sweat and all of the sudden there were tears again. His entire body shook as he sobbed and sniffed and tried to breathe, all at the same time.

"Sebastian it´s alright, it was just a dream, just a nightmare…", Kurt opened his arms and Sebastian immediately leaned into him.

Kurt t whispered soothing words to his ear and held him tightly against his chest. He felt so warm. Kurt pulled away a little bit to get a look at Sebastian and put a hand on his forehead.

"You´re feeling warm, Seb. I think you have a fever", Kurt said in concern.

Sebastian only shook his head and leaned into Kurt´s shoulder again. He only wanted to be held. Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian again and rubbed his back for a long while.

He spotted the framed picture that he had found in Sebastian´s bag the night he had come in. It was now on his nightstand, next to a stuffed white bunny.

Kurt was pretty much sure the woman had to be Sebastian´s mother. So what was the matter with her? Sebastian had only spoken of his dad, but never mentioned his mother.

After several more minutes Sebastian calmed down again. He felt exhausted and he laid back down, curling up. Kurt still held his hand as Sebastian didn´t want to let go.

"Is that your mom, Seb?", Kurt asked, glancing over to the picture.

"Mhm", he nodded.

"Do you want to talk about your dream?", Kurt asked carefully.

Sebastian shook his head. Kurt wouldn´t push, even though it killed him to see Sebastian cry like this every time and not know the complete story behind the tears. He took the stuffed bunny in his free hand and studied it. It was apparently ages old, the nose had fallen off and one leg was hanging by a thread. The red ribbon on its neck reminded Kurt of Blaine´s bowties.

"She gave it to me when I was born", Sebastian sniffled. He closed his eyes. Kurt´s touch felt so soothing, he felt safe when he held him.

As he had done the previous night, Kurt held Sebastian´s hand until he was fast asleep. This time, though, he let the lamplight on and he stayed, just in case that Sebastian had anther nightmare. He settled down on the sofa a few feet away from Sebastian´s bed. This would be another long night, Kurt thought. Before he made himself too comfortable on the sofa, he retrieved Carole´s sewing set from her room and then took the stuffed bunny from the nightstand.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everybody. Sorry for the delay. I promise to update every week from now on. I hope this chapter was worth waiting for. Please let me know! I thank each and everyone for their follows, favs and reviews! They mean a lot to me :)**

Kurt prepared coffee, he would sleep the entire day otherwise and it would be a pity, since the morning looked beautiful.

"Morning", Kurt greeted the sleepy figure that had dragged itself into the kitchen.

"Hey", Sebastian replied as he made himself comfortable.

"It looks like it´s not gonna be that cold today. I thought I´d call Blaine and we can go out somewhere this afternoon. What do you think?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

Sebastian had enjoyed going out of the house for a while. It distracted him and kept his mind busy and away from the thoughts that haunted him. And Blaine was really one of the few people he could actually stand.

"Alright, get dressed then. We have an appointment at 10:00", Kurt said as he washed the dishes from breakfast.

Sebastian went straight into his uncooperative mode. For some reason he had woken up already annoyed. Why did Kurt have to start with this crap so early in the morning?

"Where?", he asked.

"The doctor´s office", Kurt answered.

Sebastian folded his arms over his chest.

"I'm not going", he stated.

Kurt looked to the ceiling for patience.

"Sebastian, I've rescheduled this twice already. I'm not doing it again."

"I'm not asking you to", Sebastian replied and shrugged.

Kurt was about to explode, but he somehow managed to control himself. He sat down next to Sebastian.

"Seb, look at me...please this is only for your best. It will take a few minutes, that´s it", he tried to reason with the other boy.

"Still I don't want to. I don't like doctors", Sebastian's upper lip began to tremble.

"Well, this isn't fun for me either, Bas, but you need to go. Your wounds need to be cleaned and they definitely should take a look at your ear", Kurt explained "Besides, it looks like you´re coming down with something."

Sebastian coughed and sniffled a bit.

"I'm fine", he insisted, although it was true that his ear had been hurting.

Kurt was out of resources. He lifted himself and left to the bathroom, only to come back a moment later, shaking down a glass thermometer.

"Well, if you're fine, you won't mind holding this", he suggested and held the instrument in front of Sebastian's lips.

Reluctantly Sebastian opened his mouth and let Kurt take his temperature.

" 'm not sick", he protested.

"Mouth shut, meerkat", Kurt shushed him "three full minutes!"

Sebastian looked annoyed at Kurt.

" 're we done?" he asked.

"It's only been one minute", Kurt replied.

"Now?", he asked again after a while.

"Not yet. The more you speak, the longer it will take..."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. Kurt just couldn't stand it when he did that.

"Are you always this difficult?!", Kurt asked taking the thermometer from Sebastian's mouth.

"Always"

Kurt studied the mercury.

"101, you are definitely seeing a doctor today", Kurt finished the discussion, leaving Sebastian no chance to protest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sebastian starred out the window as they drove to the hospital. He avoided conversation, he was pissed. He hated Kurt. Who the hell did he think he was, forcing him to do something he didn't want to do? He could look after himself, he didn´t need a babysitter.

Kurt didn't bother to speak either. Sebastian was being such a child, it wasn't worth the effort.

He filled out the papers as Sebastian sat waiting for the nurse to call him in. He didn't like the smell of this place, the white walls, the cold room, he hated everything about it.

"Sebastian?", the nurse asked and he nodded "Please, come in."

She recognized him immediately, of course. There were not that many cases of so badly beaten up boys. Sebastian followed her.

"How have you been feeling, honey?", she asked sweetly.

"I'm OK"

"You look so much better already", she smiled at him "looks like your friend has been taking good care of you."

Sebastian avoided to comment on that.

"I´m gonna need you to take off your shirt and jeans so the doctor can look at the wounds."

It was cold and Sebastian shivered even more when he sat there waiting for Dr. Henning, stripped down to his socks and boxers. He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged himself in a poor attempt to warm up.

"Hello there, Sebastian", the older man greeted.

"Hello", he mumbled.

"I know you're cold, so let's get this done and then you can get dressed."

He examined every bruise and cut and disinfected the ones that were still fresh. A few stitches were removed as well. Sebastian flinched every time the cold hands touched his skin, he hated this. He hated being exposed, vulnerable, he just wanted to go home and curl up and sleep and be left alone.

Dr. Henning noticed the boy feeling uncomfortable, he got the job done as quickly as possible and finally Sebastian was allowed to put his clothes back on.

"The scarring is going well, though it will take a few weeks to heal completely. We have to be patient, alright?"

Sebastian nodded.

"Mr. Hummel tells me you have been dealing with some pain in your ear, is that so?", the doctor asked.

Damn Kurt, why did he always have to meddle? Why could he not keep his mouth shut for once?

Sebastian shook his head.

"No, its nothing", he lied.

But the nurse was already at his side checking his ear with a flashlight.

"It doesn't look too good", she said and carefully pressed on a sensitive spot. The pain made Sebastian winced and he pulled back from her touch.

"I'm sorry, darling", she apologized "come here."

She felt Sebastian's forehead.

"Looks like your temperature is up a bit, sweetie."

"It was 101 earlier this morning", Sebastian said, so he could get out of there sooner.

Dr. Henning prescribed more medicines and the nurse called Kurt in. To his relief Sebastian seemed less anxious than he had expected, but clearly he was angry at Kurt.

"Ok", the doctor addressed both of them "Sebastian has an ear infection. Apparently there is internal damage, since it has been bleeding. The cold of course makes the pain worse, so try not to outside if not necessary. I'm prescribing more antibiotics."

Sebastian nodded.

"In the mean time, keep an eye on his temperature", he said to Kurt "And l'll see you again in three days", he said to Sebastian.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sebastian threw himself onto the bed the minute they got home. It was pretty clear to Kurt that he wanted to be left alone. But Kurt felt the need to help him out of his misery and besides the day was too beautiful to waste it.

As he had expected, Sebastian lay there facing the wall, the first sign of the cold shoulder treatment he was going to give Kurt for what was left of the day. No way Kurt would allow that, he was in a way too good for some reason.

"What?", Sebastian asked annoyed as he noticed Kurt´s presence.

"Come on, stop being so resentful…I´m sorry"

"Hate you"

Despite the words Kurt had to laugh, because this was just so typical of Sebastian. He sat down on the bed.

"Take it back", Kurt said, but he wasn´t angry, he was teasing Sebastian.

"No!"

Kurt stretched out his hand and started tickling Sebastian´s side carefully.

"Stop!", he yelped. But Kurt saw him starting to laugh, apparently the meerkat was ticklish.

Kurt moved his hand up to Sebastian´s armpit and then the other hand joined in, making Sebastian thrash and laugh so much more than he wanted to allow himself to.

"St- Stop! S-s-stoooop!", he gasped for air as he couldn´t contain his laughter.

"Only if you take back what you said!", Kurt teased.

"NO!"

"You´re stubborn, aren´t you?", Kurt attacked Sebastian´s belly. This seemed to be his sensitive spot, since Sebastian surrendered immediately.

"OK, OK! Huh…huuuuuh", he regained his breath as Kurt released him "I…I don´t hate you!"

Kurt would have to settle with that for now. It was the first time he heard Sebastian laughing, not sarcastically, but actually laughing. It suited him well.

The bell rang.

"Oh, that´s Blaine", Kurt said. Sebastian lifted himself and followed Kurt downstairs.

At first he felt anxious to see Blaine, but then he remembered what he had forgotten for a brief moment. He remembered the circumstances and he feared the questions. He didn´t want to answer them, he didn´t want to because every time he did, he lived through that day again. And that hurt too much.

He remained on the stairway and tried to dry his sweaty palms on his jeans.

Kurt turned around and noticed the change in Sebastian´s features.

"Don´t worry, Seb. It´s just Blaine", he said.

"Does he know?", Sebastian asked frightened. He remembered Blaine having been there two nights ago, but it seemed like a blurry dream. Kurt surely had given him some kind of explanation…

"I told him you needed help, that´s all. You don´t have to speak of anything you don´t feel like, OK?"

Sebastian looked down and just nodded. The bell rang for the second time.

Kurt lifted Sebastian´s chin carefully.

"Seb, I can tell him to come over some other time", he suggested "I don´t want you to feel uncomfortable."

Sebastian shook his head.

"No, it´s fine. I´m alright."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

To his own surprise, Sebastian felt rather comfortable as the three boys sat in the living room, chatting and remembering the events of the school year. Blaine didn´t ask questions. He acted like it was the most normal of circumstances and Sebastian was thankful for that.

"Hey, I´m starving guys. How about we go out for Chinese?", Blaine suggested "There´s a really great place I´ve tried last week."

"No, no", Kurt shook his head "Sebastian´s sick, he´s not going out anywhere today."

Sebastian loved Chinese. Everyone loved Chinese.

"Oh, well we can always order in", Blaine said, looking over to Sebastian in concern.

"I feel OK", he said. Sebastian suddenly felt really hungry and really anxious to go out "Let´s go."

Kurt was absolutely against that, the doctor had clearly said to avoid the cold. But then again, that hopeful look on Sebastian´s face made him surrender once again.

"Fine", he said "let´s go, but drees up warmly!"

I´m so hopeless, Kurt thought to himself as they got inside the car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The food was great, the three of them agreed. Once again Kurt was breaking his diet, he had to. Nobody could resist Chinese. The other two made fun of him as he whined like a girl about the cruelty of life.

"Why do I always have to struggle?", he said miserably "In my heaven, food has no calories."

"It´s sooo hard to be you", Sebastian mocked, imitating Kurt´s tone.

Blaine bent over in laughter and Kurt shot both of them a look.

"Well in my heaven I don´t have this messy, curly hair and I don´t need to spend all my money on hairspray", Blaine added "Seriously, why can´t I go to the pool without worrying that my head will look like a freaking cupcake afterwards? See, that is cruel."

This time Blaine shot the others a look as they laughed at him, because his issue was so much more pathetic than Kurt´s.

"What about you, Bas, what´s it like in your heaven?", Blaine asked. As soon as the words had left his mouth, Blaine regretted them. How was he so stupid to ask this when Sebastian had just gone through a terrible experience.

But Sebastian remained unnerved.

"In my heaven", he said and made a naughty face "I don´t need to pay for strippers!"

A waitress that was passing near them turned around and looked at them like they were nuts. The three boys exploded in laughter.

"You´re beyond help!", Kurt said, tossing his napkin at Sebastian.

After lunch they took a trip to a nearby mall and looked around the stores for a while. But since non of them had any money with them to actually shop, they sat down for a coffee. It felt strange for Sebastian to do these everyday things, to have sort of a normal day after his life had been turned upside down. The crowded mall made him nervous. It was too many people, too much noise, loud music and shrill colors. How could a something as simple as a day at the mall suddenly become such a challenging experience? He felt paranoia seizing him, as if someone was following him. It was taking control of him, he wanted to run out of there and go back home to safety.

"Kurt?", he said shyly.

Blaine and Kurt turned their attention to Sebastian.

"I don´t feel well", he said.

Kurt noticed his frightened eyes and shaking hands.

"OK", Kurt said and softly rubbed his arm, letting him know he was there "let´s go home."

As they drove home Sebastian´s hands were still shaking and sweating. He flinched whenever a car drove by too closely or a truck humped. His nerves were on the edge.

He only relaxed once they got home. Blaine and Kurt exchanged concerned looks. Sebastian sat down on the living room couch and pulled his knees to his chest.

"Why don´t we watch some movies?", Blaine suggested, hoping to distract Sebastian from whatever was unsettling him. He nodded.

"Sounds good", he said.

Blaine went upstairs to get some DVDs. Kurt sat down next Sebastian.

"Seb, what is it?", he asked.

"I feel cold."

"Blaine will you bring down a blanket, please?", Kurt called out. He knew it was not that. Something had upset Sebastian and he was adding it to the pile of things he kept bottled up inside.

Blaine made sure Sebastian was covered up and comfortable on the couch. Kurt fetched his medicines and prepared hot chocolate for everyone. Sebastian started to relax again, the feeling of safety slowly returned to his body. Blaine sat to his left and Kurt to his right, tucking their feet underneath Sebastian´s blanket. It was strange for him to be so close to the other two, but it felt comforting, too.

They watched movies and chilled for the rest of the day. Kurt was so chatty ,almost like a girl, and Blaine was just a little less aggravated than Kurt but also a waterfall of chit chat, Sebastian noticed. He was rather silent himself this time. Sometimes it was easier to simply listen. That way he didn´t need to dig for some sarcastic comment or whatever else he usually did. And besides, listen turned out to be sort of interesting.

"Hey, Blaine", Kurt said after they had talked about almost every topic there was "Your birthday´s coming up, any plans?"

"I don´t know really, I´d love to have a party or something, but everyone´s away or busy with Christmas and stuff. It sucks to have your birthday in December."

"Well, January isn´t great either, but I always have fun some way", Kurt said "Maybe we could do something different."

"Yeah, maybe together", Blaine said "Hey, Seb, yours was not long ago, right?"

"Eeehm yes it was like two weeks ago", Sebastian replied.

"Well, having your birthday during Finals probably sucks even more, right?", Blaine asked.

"Totally", Sebastian said, even if that wasn´t really true. His birthday always sucked, every year and it would change nothing if it was in the summer or any other time of the year.

"So I suppose you spent it studying for tests…that´s crappy", Blaine said "We should do something the three of us together. Let´s throw some kick ass party!"

"That´s lame, everyone´s gonna be away with their families…", Kurt replied "Like that one time my dad decided to throw me a surprise party, yeah right in the middle of January when half my friends were on holidays…it was a disaster. I remember I cried because nobody came…"

Of course Kurt added a lot of unnecessary drama to the story, as usual.

"Sucks really", Blaine chuckled "I remember the one time my parents arranged some clowns for my birthday. I think I was turning 10, and everyone laughed because we were too old for clowns. And besides, I´ve always found them awful, so I cried."

The others burst out in laughter.

"What about you, Bas?", Blaine asked "what was your worst birthday ever?"

The amusement was wiped from his face. He looked away to a random spot.

"I…I don´t know, I never really liked my birthday. In fact we…well I…I don´t celebrate my birthday"

Sebastian tried to sound normal, like it was no big deal, but obviously it was an uncommon statement he had just made. Normal kids always had birthday parties.

Blaine and Kurt exchanged looks, fearing they had made a mistake.

"I don´t because my mom died the same day, so its like…I don´t know…the day doesn´t seem fit for any celebrations I guess", Sebastian´s cheeks blushed a little, he felt ashamed for some reason. They would think he was a freak, more of a freak than they already assumed he was.

"I- I´m sorry, Bas. I had no idea", Blaine said, feeling so guilty "I shouldn´t have asked…"

Sebastian shook his head.

"Never mind", he whispered. He looked sad all of the sudden and Kurt rubbed his arm in comfort.

"Sorry to hear that, Seb. I know what its like to lose your mom", Kurt said "How old were you?"

"I never met her. She…she died giving birth to me…", Sebastian said. He wiped angrily at his eyes, he didn´t want to cry again.

Kurt felt his own heart breaking.

"I´m so sorry", he whispered.

Blaine rubbed his arm, trying to provide a little comfort , although both knew that nothing they did or said would soothe such kind of pain. Sebastian preferred they didn´t pity him. After all he owed his life to the cold indifference he had shielded himself with for so long. It was the only thing that kept him safe from the world and he wasn´t ready to let that go.

An awkward silence settled in. They kept watching movies, but in their heads they were all elsewhere. Sebastian felt his eyelids growing heavier, he shivered but he could feel the fever gradually rising. Eventually he fell asleep with his head on Kurt´s shoulder. Kurt felt the heat coming from Sebastian´s body.

"Blaine", he whispered "he´s burning up."

Together they made Sebastian comfortable on the couch without even waking him up. They moved inside the kitchen to not disturb the sick boy in his sleep. Blaine made coffee.

"I feel so sad for him, Blaine", Kurt said after a while. Tears came to his eyes ."You know what that means? It means he-he spent his entire life alone with his father…with that monster."

Although Blaine didn´t know all the details, Kurt had explained the basic facts the other night, so he had a pretty good idea of what he meant.

"Poor Sebastian", he said "I never thought he was dealing with so much.. He hides it really well most of the time."

"I don´t know how he survived his dad for so long…", Kurt wondered.

"Maybe he wasn´t always like that…", Blaine hoped, although it didn´t seem realistic.

"I´m beginning to understand why he acts the way he does…why he builds these walls around himself…", Kurt whispered thoughtfully.

"Yeah, makes sense", Blaine agreed "so far his attitude has managed to keep people at a fair distance. I just never thought that it was actually intentional."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _Sebastian hears footsteps coming up the stairs. Heavy, strong footsteps. It´s not his nanny´s, she´s always very quiet. Sebastian lifts himself as he hears the footsteps disappearing into the office. It´s him, the man he rarely ever sees, but whose moves he recognizes immediately. Sebastian walks down the hall, carrying his stuffed bunny with him. He knows his father doesn´t like to be disturbed, but curiosity gains the better of him. Maybe he will stay home tonight, maybe…_

 _The little boy moves closer and finds the door to the office is halfway open. He tries to catch a look at his father from the corridor. There he is, leaning against the edge of his desk. His hands hold a picture, his shoulders are shaking._

 _"_ _Karen", he whispers "Karen…"_

 _Why is daddy crying?_

 _Sebastian steps inside carefully, hugging his toy to his chest. The room smells funny, like when his father comes home late at night._

 _"_ _Daddy?", he asks looking up at the tall figure._

 _The man looks down as he notices the little boy´s presence. He steps closer and shows the picture to Sebastian. He knows that picture, its mommy. She´s so beautiful._

 _"_ _I loved her", the man whispers "I loved her and you took her away from me."_

 _Sebastian feels a knot in his chest, tears are running down his face._

 _"_ _You killed her!"_

 _Sebastian shakes his head, he can´t breathe. It can´t be true! He didn´t mean to!_

 _"_ _YOU KILLED HER !"_

 _Sebastian covers his ears, dropping the white bunny to the floor._

 _"_ _I´m s-s-sorryyyyyy", he cries "Sorry d-daddyyy…"_

 _The man takes him violently by the wrists and Sebastian cries out._

"Sebastian! Wake up!"

Sebastian´s eyes snapped open and he sat up violently. His heart was running so fast, and he could feel his body bathed in sweat. Then he noticed two soft hands gently cupping his cheeks and he heard a familiar voice. He was home, he was safe.

"Just a nightmare, Seb", Kurt whispered. He ran a washcloth through cool water and placed it on Sebastian´s burning forehead. He sighed, it felt so relieving on his skin. Then Kurt handed him a glass of water and Sebastian drank eagerly. He realized they were still on the couch and the clock on the wall marked 8 pm. Had he really fallen asleep?

"Where´s Blaine?", he asked.

"He left a moment ago. We didn´t want to wake you", Kurt said "…Seb?"

"Hmmm?"

"You screamed."

Sebastian wouldn´t have known, but it didn´t surprise him. He just didn´t want anyone to be there when he was having a nightmare. What if he spoke in his sleep and then…maybe he´d say things he didn´t want anyone to find out…

"Sorry for that", he apologized.

"What was it?", Kurt asked and his eyes pleaded for answers when they looked into Sebastian´s. But Sebastian looked away.

"This is yours…", Kurt said and he handed Sebastian his stuffed bunny.

Sebastian took it and he was surprised to see it had been mended. It had even been issued a black button to replace the missing nose. This was the only thing he had left from his mother, besides the picture.

"Thank you, Kurt", he said. And he felt like crap because he had never done anything to deserve any of Kurt´s kindness.

"You were calling for her", Kurt said "your mom."

Sebastian swallowed audibly.

"He was going to beat me…", he whispered, looking down to his hands "It was the first time he beat me…"

Kurt held his hand, hoping to encourage him to continue.

"I didn´t mean to, Kurt…", Sebastian´s eyes filled with tears and he looked at Kurt as a sinner looks at the priest for forgiveness.

"What Seb?", Kurt asked softly. He didn´t understand.

"I didn´t mean to kill her", it simply burst out of him and loud sobs followed right behind. Tears streamed down his cheeks. His heart literally ached.

Kurt couldn´t believe his ears. He held Sebastian´s arms tightly and searched for his eyes.

"Sebastian, look at me"

But the boy kept crying and Kurt reached up to hold his face in his hands.

"Sebastian listen to me! That was not your fault!", he stressed out every word "Did he blame you for it?"

Sebastian nodded.

Kurt hated Sven Smythe without even knowing him. For the first time in his life, he felt physical need and desire to inflict pain on somebody. He would have killed him right there. How could a man blame his own baby for being born? How could he let that kid grow up carrying that fault on his shoulders?

But Sven Smythe was not here, Sebastian was. And he was crying. And he was all that mattered to Kurt right now.

"Sebastian, I need you to listen to me", Kurt said, fixing his eyes to Sebastians´ and he made sure the boy didn´t look away "What happened to your mom was an accident. Those things happen sometimes and it his awful that it happened to your mom. But they are nobody´s fault, and especially not yours…You can feel sad about her death and you are allowed to drag this sadness with you through your entire life. I know, because I still feel sad when I think about my mom. I know that it will never go away…But feeling sad and feeling guilty are two different things. And you will NOT carry the guilt, Sebastian! Because you aren´t guilty, and that I swear to you on my own mother´s grave!"

Sebastian absorbed every one of Kurt´s words, he realized he had stopped crying. Nobody had ever spoken to him like that, nobody had ever come so close and looked so deep inside of him.

Kurt was still holding Sebastian´s face in his hands.

"What was her name?", he whispered.

"Karen"

Kurt smiled.

"A beautiful name…I´m sure Karen loved you with all her heart."

And then Kurt leaned forward and ever so gently he kissed Sebastian´s forehead.

And when Kurt pulled away and saw Sebastian smile, he realized that he was absolutely in love with him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! So, this is a short one, next chapter will be tough and angsty. Hope to post it on Sunday.**

 **Thank you all for reading!**

Sebastian had fallen asleep on the couch. The fever and all the crying had left him exhausted.

"Go back to sleep, Seb. You´ll feel better in the morning", Kurt had promised.

Now Sebastian´s face looked peaceful despite the circumstances, and Kurt decided it would be best to leave him rest right there.

Kurt stepped outside onto the porched to get some fresh air. The night was cold, as every other night around this time of the year. It was a good thing that Kurt had never enjoyed smoking, because he figured right now he would need to smoke like a whole package. Instead he distracted himself by listening to the nightly noises of the street. A car driving by, an owl, the neighbor´s dogs barking…it was all so…random, so…mundane.

Ever since that awful day when Kurt had found Sebastian, he had turned all of his attention towards the other boy, diving completely into his story. And suddenly all the things that were important in his life no longer mattered. They seemed so trivial now. He had almost forgotten about Prom, which was only a week away. Even NYADA hadn´t crossed his mind these days. Diet as well as his nightly skin regime had been skipped altogether.

Kurt looked up to the sky. Stars were shining brightly, but Kurt felt a wave of sadness wash over him. The world, he realized, kept turning as it always did. Nothing had changed. Kurt didn´t know if that was a good thing or not. Did it mean the world was so incredibly strong that it kept going despite every adversity? Or was it so terribly indifferent that it moved on, disregarding all the pain and misery it witnessed?

Kurt lingered on that thought for a while before returning to the warmth of the living room, where his friend still rested comfortably.

He kept him silent company, watching the boy´s features from a fair distance, studying every detail on his face. His pale skin and soft brown hair, his perfectly shaped eyebrows, his long eyelashes, the freckles here and there…he was breathtaking. Even with the bruises and scars. How had Kurt never noticed before?

 _This can´t be happening_ , he thought to himself. _What´s wrong with me_?

Sebastian had made Kurt´s life a living hell. He was mean, insulting, arrogant…everything Kurt hated. And now Kurt was falling for him?

These terrible incidents of the past weeks had somehow shed a different light over Sebastian. They had revealed the sensitive, vulnerable boy that had been living behind the walls that were now crumbling to the floor, shattering everything to pieces on their way…

Kurt ran a hand through his face, realizing how incredibly bizarre it was. Yes, it was definitely unexpected, to say the least. And yet… it was so easy to love Sebastian.

The real Sebastian, the scared little boy, who wanted nothing else but to be loved. How could you not love him?

Kurt chuckled silently in disbelief, surprised by his own thoughts. When had those feelings taken over?

First he had tried to shake them off, supposing that it was pity, that it was sympathy for another human being who was in dire need of help. But there was more to it.

Sebastian had pulled strings that Kurt had never before realized even existed. Blaine had been his first love, his biggest love, there was no question to that. This was different, though. A feeling of warmth filled his chest, it was not sexual, but gentle and sweet. There was a need to soothe and protect the other boy.

Kurt could still feel the softness of Sebastian´s skin that the chaste kiss had left on his lips. He´d give anything to kiss him one more time, just once, and put into that tender kiss all the comfort and all the love that he didn´t dare to compose in words. Was it possible to kiss away someone´s pain?

Kurt pushed a few strands of hair from Sebastian´s warm forehead. He allowed his fingers to softly brush against his fever-flushed cheeks. How could anyone want to hurt this sweet boy? How could they make these beautiful eyes cry? It should be a crime…

A sad tear rolled down Kurt´s face and then another and another. They were bound to make an appearance sooner or later. He had kept them at bay for several days, knowing he had to stay strong for Sebastian so he had something to hold on to. Kurt´s tears flowed freely now, soon forming a river and releasing all of his pent up emotions in absolute silence.

How he yearned to share his own pain and fears and doubts with Sebastian. He wanted him to know how his heart broke every time over and over again, because despite of all his efforts to make Sebastian forget and have him smile, he always ended up crying at the end of every day. He wanted to say that he was just as overwhelmed, just as helpless and lost, startled by the sudden turn of things in life. He wanted to confess that he had no set course, no clue of how to fix things, that he was trying at his best by improvising…that he wasn´t strong at all, perhaps only a good actor, if anything…

None of that however came out of his mouth. Kurt was resolute never to allow that. He had promised to keep Sebastian safe and right now that demanded from Kurt to sweep away his own emotional turmoil and uncertainties . He had to be the one constant in this equation so full of variables.

He wiped away his tears and smiled at the beautiful sight that was Sebastian sleeping, hopefully dreaming of something equally beautiful.

The peace that spread from that simple moment was so contagious that Kurt forgot about everything else and softly sang to Sebastian as he fixed the blankets around his body, his voice barely above a whisper.

 _You won´t see me cry, I´m hiding inside_

 _My heart is in pain, but I´m smiling for you._

 _Oh, baby, I´ll try to make things right_

 _I need you more than air when I´m not with you._

 _Please don´t ask me why, just kiss me this time_

 _My only dream is about you and I…_

 **Please please please take a short moment to leave a review and let me know if you liked this! It makes me soooooo happy! Love you all :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, there is no excuse for me not updating sooner. I really appreciate everyone who is still reading. Thank you!**

Sebastian woke up feeling warm and aching. The fever had gone up and down during the course of the night, giving him restless sleep and confusing dreams.

It took a while for his tired mind to remember why he was on the couch instead of the bedroom. Sebastian rubbed his eyes and kicked off the blankets. He was drenched in sweat.

"Kurt?", he called out weakly. His throat hurt and his voice came out scratchy, breaking into a coughing fit.

Kurt came down the stairs, already dressed, but looking really tired, too. Had he been up late? Sebastian couldn't even tell what day or what time it was. He had lost track of these kind of things. They simply didn't matter anymore.

"How are you feeling, Seb?"

"Like hell", he answered miserably.

Kurt felt his forehead and frowned in concern.

"You still feel warm."

This time Sebastian didn't even protest when Kurt took his temperature. He was coughing too much, so Kurt unbuttoned Sebastian's shirt and slid his hand down his chest, putting the thermometer under his arm. Kurt worried when Sebastian didn't squirm or push him away.

"Not cranky today?", he teased.

But Sebastian simply leaned into Kurt and let everything wash over him, he didn't feel like arguing. Everything hurt so bad. He closed his eyes, feeling Kurt's shoulder beneath his cheek and his soft breathing that brushed over Sebastian's hair.

"102,5. That's not good... Come, let's get you to bed."

Sebastian let Kurt guide him upstairs and tuck him in.

He gave him the prescribed pills and applied the eardrops before leaving him to rest, resisting the urge to give him a kiss. He didn't think Sebastian would like that.

He checked on him every hour and sat by his side, asking how he was feeling and if he needed anything. He tried to get Sebastian to eat something, but he politely rejected everything.

Kurt even offered to get him pizza or ice cream or both, whatever it took to cheer Sebastian up and help him feel better, but he said no even to that. He really was very sick if he said no to ice cream, but he appreciated Kurt offering it. How did Kurt know he liked ice cream so much? Pizza and ice cream was his absolutely favorite combination.

What was this strange feeling? Sebastian wondered. He wasn't used to receiving all this attention. He couldn't recall anyone having worried so much about him. It felt so unfamiliar. As a child he was always left to himself when he was sick. The nanny would bring him the meals or call his pediatrician, but nobody stayed with him, nor tried to comfort him or read a story to him. No one cared, not even when he cried. But that was absolutely normal to him. So this sudden overload of care was quiet a novelty to him and it felt so right, but it was also confusing. Why was Kurt doing it? What did he want from him? It was too much for his already tired mind. He sighed deeply and drifted off to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

" _You are not going to deny it?"_

 _That voice made Sebastian flinch. Still he wouldn't even try to lie about it. What good would that do?_

" _No", he whispered, and he didn't have the courage to look up, he stared down, already ashamed._

He felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him carefully.

"Wake up"

He opened his eyes , but his eyelids felt so heavy, they couldn't manage to stay open.

" _It's true, dad"_

 _Sebastian heard his own voice cracking._

" _How long?"_

 _He took in a deep breath, gathering his courage._

An overwhealming heat sorrounded him, making him dizzy. He sighed when something cold was pressed against his forehead. Someone else was talking to him, from far far away.

"Sebastian, can you hear me?"

His eyes again made an effort to open up and Kurt was there, was this even real?

He felt the blankets being pulled away from his body.

" _I've asked you a question"_

 _He was trapped, there was no turning back now._

" _Since always", he answered._

Someone squeezed his hand, trying to wake him fully up. Sebastian couldn't distinguish what was a dream and what was real anymore.

"Kurt?", he asked in confusion.

"I'm right here, Seb"

His hand rested on Sebastian's stomach, softly rubbing circles.

"I'm hot", he whimpered, trying to kick off his socks.

"You're fever is very high, I'll remove some clothes to cool you down, Ok?"

" _You're not even embarrased, you little slut"_

 _A tear rolled down his cheek as he heard his father call him that._

" _I'm not", he cried silently, repeating these words more to himself than to the man in front of him._

 _With one single harsh move he was taken by the wrist and flipped over on his stomach._

" _Let me show you what your little statement means", the man whispered to his ear_.

" _No…PLEASE DON'T!"_

 _Sebastian screamed._

He felt a pair if hands rolling up his shirt and brushing over the skin of his chest. He tried to protest and pull away, but he was too weak. His arms wouldn't respond.

"Don't-", he hissed, capturing only a blurred image of the person that was touching him. Who was it? Where was he?

He heard a voice speaking to him again, what was it saying? He thrashed and kicked out.

"Leave me!" he whined.

But the pair of hands was already on the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling them down.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!", Sebastian screamed.

He was suddenly fully awake, he had pulled away abruptly into the corner of the bed. He hugged his knees and shielded his head with an elbow.

"Please-", he cried "please don't do it…"

Sebastian pleaded and sobbed silently.

The sudden reaction had scared the shit out of Kurt.

"Shhh, it's OK Sebastian", he said "I'm not going to hurt you."

"I don't want that", Sebastian whined into his own knees.

"Sebastian…sweetheart, please look at me"

Hesitantly he lifted his head and looked at the person sitting next to him.

"K-Kurt?"

"Yes, it's me...it's Kurt. Don't be frightened, Seb."

Sebastian's pants were down to his midthighs and his chest halfway exposed and he tried to cover himself.

Kurt moved a little bit closer causing Sebastian to flinch once again.

"Hey, hey", he whispered to the terriefied boy, presenting his empty hands, letting him know that he was harmless.

"Everything's fine. Let me take care of you."

Sebastian was scared and he was confused and he felt hot and cold and aching. He couldn't deal with anything right now. He wanted to run and get away from there, every nerve in his body screamed at him to run. But he couldn't. He was paralyzed.

Kurt placed one hand on Sebastian's knee. He tensed up, but didn't pull away.

"We need to cool down your body, Ok?"

"Nooo, please", he whispered, begging to be left alone.

He didn't want this, he didn't want anybody touching him or seeing him half naked. He shook his head, but Kurt proceeded anyway.

"Nooo", he protested miserably.

"Seb, we need to bring your temperature down, it can be dangerous when it gets this high"

Kurt slowly took off one of his socks and then the other.

"There you go, all better, huh?"

Sebastian's breathing grew agitated as he felt Kurt's cold hands against his thighs. He started to cry, still unable to move away.

" _Let me show you what your little statement means"_

No, no, this wasn't happening. Sebastian tried to calm down, but he was sobbing uncontrollably now.

Kurt pulled down the boy's pants and he was left in his boxers and shirt.

"Ok, we're done, Seb. It's over", Kurt encouraged him and he felt horrible for causing Sebastian so much discomfort. It was so damn heartbreaking to make him cry. And even more heartbreaking to see just how crowded the scars and bruises on his body were. He hadn't been spared a single square inch.

Kurt would murder Sven Smythe one way or another. There was no forgivinge what he had done. It pained Kurt's every cell to watch this, so it was a good thing that Sebastian wasn't registering the twitch on Kurt's face.

Sebastian felt better as the fresh air hit his body. Kurt took the damp washcloth and pressed it against Sebastian's cheeks that were bright pink. Then he rubbed it over his chest and his arms. Sebastian closed his eyes. The cold water felt so relieving on his skin. But when Kurt rubbed the cloth over his thighs, he couldn't keep himself from crying.

Kurt knew this was necessary and he knew that Sebastian was aware that this was only for his best, but he still hated himself at that moment.

"No, no, no…Sebastian, there's no need to cry anymore…", Kurt pleaded, putting away the jar of water and cloth.

It broke his heart when he saw just how tear stained Sebastian's face was. He took a thin sheet and covered him up. The tension in the boy's body lessend immediately.

Sebastian let his tired body fall back on the pillows, pulling the sheet up to his chin, hiding his body. He breathed in deeply, his mind was a lot clearer as his head began to cool down.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, I didn't mean to upset you", Kurt's voice was calm but he was fighting some tears himself.

"I-I don't like t-touching…", Sebastian whimpered.

And Kurt felt just awful. What else had been done to his sweet Sebastian that made him so terrified of human contact, so distrustful of physical displays of affection?

He wanted to take him into his arms and hold him tight and never let go, but at least for now that would do harm instead of good. God, would that ever change?

So Kurt took a tissue and gently wiped the tears from Sebastian's cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Sebastian. I won't do anything you don't want me to."

He waited and Sebastian nodded slowly, looking at Kurt with big, curious eyes.

" And I will never hurt you, nor let anyone else lay a hand on you. Ever! I promise."

Sebastian swallowed audibly, He watched Kurt intensely, but he didn't say anything. Sometimes words were not needed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _Sebastian was running, but his legs weren't fast enough. He could still hear the voices behind him, they were coming to get him. He truned around and tried to land punches with his fists, but he had no strength and the grey figures dissolved into dust. It was foggy, he was lost._

 _But then a familiar voice echoed from far away. A warm, soothing voice. He couldn't distinguish the words, though. Then suddenly he was falling, like the ground had disappeared under his feet. There was nothing around him to hold on to. All was dark and cold and in the end he let himself fall freely._

 _But then a hand grasped his wrist and the grip was fim but at the same time so gentle._

" _I got you"_

 _And the ground reappeared beneath Sebastian, the fog had faded. He was safe_.

This time Sebastian woke up peacefully. He knew he was home. He knew whose hand it was, that had caught him. He knew that delicate touch, that sweet voice. And although Kurt wasn't sitting next to his bed, Sebastian knew that he wasn't far away. Kurt was never more than a few steps or a call away from him, always there to come running and pull him out of his nightmares, to hold him and let him cry his heart out. Kurt was safety, Kurt was home. He didn't want to fall, he wouldn't let himself fall. He would hold on to Kurt as if he were holding on for dear life.

 **Like it? Hate it? Please tell me! It helps me get inspired and moves my lazy ass to update sooner!**

 **Love you all!**


	9. Chapter 9

It took three more days for Kurt to nurse Sebastian back to health. It was only two more days until prom and Kurt decided to take a shot and ask Sebastian to go as his date.

After all, it was the small things in life that made people happy and maybe that was what Sebastian needed right now; to focus on the most trivial of things and try to find a way back to his life.

And today was a good day to start.

"I'm so bored if being in bed. I wanna go out", Sebastian protested hoping that today Kurt would finally stop being a grandma and agree to let him go outside again.

"You're lucky as it seems…because I'm also fucking bored of being at home and I have the perfect place we can go to."

"Where's that?", Sebastian asked skeptically.

"Surprise!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. Of course he had to do that, it was his trademark.

"I hope this isn't one of your goofy ideas again, Princess", Sebastian continued as he watched Kurt drive and he tried to figure out just where the hell he was heading to.

Kurt drove a few miles out of town into the countryside. And although Sebastian wanted to complain, he felt quiet curious. They turned away from the highway and came to a big gate. It was open and Kurt drove through as if it was his own place.

 _Welcome to the Clark Farm_

"Seriously, Kurt?", Sebastian said when he read the big sign.

"Just shut up for once", Kurt laughed "I came here every holiday when I was younger. We are close friends with the family."

"And what exactly are we gonna do here? Milk a cow?"

"Keep your sarcasm to yourself and no- I have no intention to milk a cow."

"I bet you don't. You don't look like the type who grabs bovine boobs and squeezes at them for endless hours…you don't even want to squeeze human boobs."

"…Says the man who is oh so very straight himself…"

Kurt stopped next to the stables.

"Come on then", he said as he got off the car.

Sebastian followed reluctantly.

An elderly man waved over to them and Kurt walked towards him.

"Hey son, how are you doing? I haven't seen you in ages!"

The man hugged Kurt fondly. They seemed to be very close.

"Hey Bob, I know, I've been busy. This is Sebastian, we're friends at school."

Sebastian stepped forward shyly and shook the man's hand.

"Well, here's everything you asked for, Kurt. I got them ready for you."

They followed the man into the stables where two big horses were chaired and waiting for their riders.

 _Oh no_ , Sebastian whispered to himself as he watched both animals with big, frightened eyes.

"Thank you, Bob. I'll take it from here. Don't let me keep you busy."

"Feel at home, kids. I'll be collecting the eggs if you need me."

With that the man stepped outside leaving the two boys alone.

"Kurt, you gotta be nuts if you think I'm climbing on one of these things-"

Kurt saw Sebastian's nervous look.

"Relax", he said "they behave. And besides I'm by your side. Trust me."

"No way!"

"Have you never been on a horse? Like not even for a walk?", Kurt asked.

Sebastian shook his head.

"For a picture?"

Again he shook his head.

"Ok then. I'll tell you what. We take just one horse and you can sit with me and I'll do the guiding."

Sebastian thought of a way to get out of this, but Kurt insisted.

"Come on, Seb. You don't know what you're missing out on."

Reluctantly Sebastian agreed.

"But slow! If you let the damn thing speed up, I'll kill you, so help me God."

"Yes, yes, I promise", Kurt said as he picked the black horse and guided it outside "come on, you chicken!"

Sebastian opened his mouth, intending to reply to that, but really he was fucking scared, so what could he say in his defense?

"I'm no chicken, these things just happen to be dirty!"

"Oh, who's the Princess now", Kurt teased "and stop calling them things, they've got names."

Kurt pulled Sebastian next to the horse. The animal turned its head back and sniffed at Sebastian's hands. Instinctively the boy pulled back, shielding himself behind Kurt.

"No way I'm getting on this!"

"Come here, it's just a horse. Give me your hand."

Kurt took Sebastian's hand in his own and guided it towards the horse, placing his palm on the furry neck and stroked gently.

Sebastian wanted to pull back again, but the horse remained still and the fur felt soft under his skin.

"See? He just needs to know you. He's a good boy, aren't you Chestnut?"

Sebastian carefully stepped closer and ran his hand through the horse's mane.

It became pretty obvious to Kurt, that Sebastian hadn't had a lot of contact with animals in his life.

"Ok, let's get on then. You'll sit in the front, I'll sit behind you and guide."

Sebastian looked nervous, but curious at the same time.

"Why do you get to be behind me?"

Kurt suspected this was going in a perverted direction. He cut Sebastian off before he let something utterly stupid out if his dirty mouth.

"Shut up and get on the damn horse aleready!"

Kurt stepped to Sebastian's left and showed him how to hold to the saddle. He placed a small wooden chair next to him so that Sebastian could climb up easier.

He was rather clumsy but managed to sit correctly, looking desperately to something to hold on to as soon as he was sitting.

"What now?", Sebastian started. "Oh crap- Kurt!", he yelped as the horse began to walk.

Kurt had to supress some laughter. He took the reins and stopped Chestnut.

"Get the fuck up here!"

"Relax, Seb…"

Kurt guided Sebastian's feet into the stirrups and then hopped on easily, sitting behind the other boy.

He passed his hands alongside Sebastian's waist, kind of embracing him and took the reins.

"Hold on to the mane. Not that you really need to, but it gives you a feeling of balance and safety. I'll do the guiding, but I'll need you to set the speed, alright?"

"I-I'm not s-sure I can…"

"Relax, Seb. It's easy. Just press your heels against Chestnut's sides."

Sebastian carefully did as Kurt said. The horse strated to walk. Sebastian's hands gripped at the horse's mane so strongly, he feared to hurt it.

Kurt felt the body in front of him tense up. He took the reins in his left hand and put his right hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

"Easy, Seb. Relax…I've got you."

Sebastian breathed in deeply. The tension released a bit.

"Really, Princess, I thought you were more the ballet-type of guy."

Kurt smiled to himself. Sebastian's responses were so predictable.

"Mock me all you want. I actually am a ballet-kind of guy. But I'm also a horse riding- kind of guy. A singing and dancing- kind and guy and the kind of guy that likes a bit more speed!"

With that Kurt pressed at the horse's sides making it shift from walking to trotting.

"Hey!", Sebastian yelped.

Kurt laughed as Sebastian tensed up again.

"Let go yourself. Just feel the rhythm."

Kurt guided the horse along the countryside, where the ground was more or less even.

Sebastian's first instinct to grapple onto the horse slowly gave in. As he started to loosen up, he felt his body connecting with the pace of the animal. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. He felt Kurt's arms around his waist, holding him gently.

Kurt whistled and the horse slowed down back to walking.

"Hey, why'd you stop?", Sebastian protested.

"Here, take the reins", Kurt said as he transferred them from his hands to Sebastian's.

He showed him how to hold them correctly.

"Ok, you guide now", Kurt said. He placed his own hands on Sebadtian's sides.

"Turn left", he instructed.

Instinctively the boy pulled the left rein to the side. The horse complied.

"Good job. Now turn to the right."

Sebastian was a quick learner, although a bit clumsy.

"Now, Seb, horses are a king's sport. The primary thing is to sit eleganlty and move softly. Straighten your back and stick out your chest."

Kurt tapped on the boy's back to adjust it to the correct position.

"Lift your chin, look straight ahead."

Sebastian did as he was told.

"Good, now set the speed you want."

Sebastian pressed with his heels and sent the horse into trot. He tensed up at first but relaxed after a while. He was liking this more than he had expected. He guided Chestnut along the outlined path, surprised at how easy it became. He started to turn his attention to their sorroundings, beautiful trees, sheep grazing randomly here and there and birds flying across the grey, cloudy sky.

Kurt whistled one more time, making the horse fall back to walking. He took back the reins and Sebastian grabbed the mane again.

"Now let me show you what this really is about!", Kurt said excitedly.

"Hold on tightly, Ok? Remember to stay relaxed. I'm holding you all the time."

Kurt pressed at the horse's sides and it proceeded to gallop right away.

This movement was absolutely different. Not only faster, but also more rhythmical. Sebastian felt his stomach bouncing up and down with each stride.

"Doing alright there?", Kurt called from behind.

Sebastian nodded and he felt the horse speeding up more and more. He was gripping Chestnut's mane tightly.

Kurt did as he had done earlier and collected the reins in his left hand and sorrounded Sebastian's waist with his right.

"Let go and stretch out your arms, I got you!", Kurt called.

Slowly Sebastian let go the mane and opened his arms as if they were wings. The cold air hit his face, the wind whistling in his ears. His hips moved in unison with the horse's back and he felt Kurt's arm around him, safely holding him.

They ran across the field, no longer following the outlined path, but going randomly cross country. Sebastian felt like he was flying. It was the most amazing sensation he had ever experienced and it was a pity that Kurt was not able to see just how brightly he was smiling right now.

"Faster!", he called out.

Kurt granted the other boy's wish. He could hear Sebastian laughing out loud whenerver they made a new move, like going uphill or downhill. Kurt spotted a small ditch and turned towards it. Sebastian gripped the mane again. They came closer and closer and a few feet before the ditch the horse jumped across the water in one large stride.

Now _that_ really felt like flying! And althoguh the movement was a bit rough, Kurt heard Sebastian laugh out in surprise. He had taken his hand from Sebastian's waist up to his chest, to better hold him. And he could feel the boy's heart beating endlessly fast as they kept running.

The moment was absolutely perfect and if he could, Kurt would've stopped time right there. He wanted this to last forever, in that beautiful place, the whistling wind, the feeling of absolute freedom on the horse's back and with a happy, smily Sebastian in his arms. He closed his eyes and made sure to engrave this moment into his memory, so he could revive the feeling when it was over.

Sebastian was gasping for air, he had laughed and hold his breath so much, that the cold wind had made his throat dry and his loungs greedy for air. It seemed like the horse was also going breathless, so they slowed down, until they were walking again. Kurt let go Sebastian's chest and transferred the reins to him once again.

"Wow…ok, your turn to guide us back now", Kurt said, regaining his breath.

"Ok", he replied excitedly.

Kurt showed Sebastian again how to hold the reins. The boy's hands were freezing. Kurt rummaged through his pockets and found his woolen gloves.

"Come, put these on, Seb."

Kurt pulled the gloves on Sebastian's hands and he did not protest.

"Alright, now you can ride us back to the stables."

He let Sebastian guide and impulse, praising him for how quickly he had learned.

Sebastian blushed a little, but it was OK, Kurt wasn't seeing. They were both quiet on the way back. They really had gone very far and what had seemed a brief moment had actually been two hours.

They arrived at the stables and Kurt jumped off first. He held out his hand for Sebastian and helped him off as well. They guided Chestnut inside and Kurt showed Sebastian how to remove the equipment from the horse. Much to his surprise, Sebastian wanted to know everything and asked Kurt the names and functions of each of the things he was taking off the horse. And Kurt was happy to tell. When they were done, he carried the saddle and bridle to a nearby room and retrieved a few carrots.

He stepped inside the stables again and found Sebastian hugging Chestnut. His arms were wrapped around the horse's neck and his face was pressed against the mane, eyes closed and lips soflty smiling. Kurt remained still, he didn't dare disturb that moment. All he could do was smile to himself and fall one little bit deeper in love with Sebastian.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The day outside had worn both boys off. They were hungry and tired and Kurt suggested to go get some burgers for dinner.

They were sitting at the diner, Kurt had ordered a small sized burger and Sebastian had gone for no less than two cheese burgers.

"Really, I don't know how you're this skinny with everything you gulp down!", Kurt said "you're so damn lucky!"

Sebastian shrugged.

"Don't know…it's always been this way.", he said as he unwrapped his second burger "want half of this one?", he offered.

"Thanks, but I can't allow me such luxury. I feel guilty enough about the first one", Kurt replied bitterly "otherwise I won't fit into my suit for prom…"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. He had totally forgotten about prom. In fact he had forgotten about everything outside the walls of his new home. Maybe it was because he wished he never had to face anything outside of them again. This shelter that Kurt had brought him into gave him peace and safety that he feared would vanish if he stepped outside into the world again.

"…Which reminds me…", Kurt continued "there's something I wanted to ask you."

Sebastian picked at his french fries and nodded.

"I…I wanted to ask you if you…if you would be my date for- for prom night…"

Sebastian was speechless. He swallowed and looked at Kurt in surprise.

"Me?", he asked shyly.

Kurt nodded.

"Yes, you…I mean, only if you want. I haven't even asked if you want to go to prom in the first place, I'm sorry –"

Sebastian fidgeted and looked down to his plate.

"I'm sorry, Seb. Don't worry. I understand if you don't wanna go. It's OK."

"No", Sebastian said quickly "I- I do want to go, it's just that…I don't have anything to- to wear…"

His pale cheeks flushed and Kurt sighed in relief. For a moment he feared he had made a mistake.

"That's no problem, Seb. We'll figure something out…I really just want you to be sure you want to go…and that you wanna go with me…I won't push it if you say no."

Sebastian shook his head.

"It's alright, Kurt. I do want to go", Sebastian said.

"Ok", Kurt smiled.

"Ok."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sebastian shifted in his bed. The room was absolutely dark and the house was very quiet. He wanted to sleep, he was endlessly tired, but his mind kept travelling towards prom night.

He had a suit, of course he did. It was just out of reach, hanging in the closet at his former home. Several months earlier he had found the perfect suit at Gucci and he had bought it right away. He still had his credit card back then. Of course, that had been shortly before his dad had found out-

No,no,no, he had to stop his thoughts from going there. He had done so good today, he had to focus on the good things. He had a date after all, a date for prom…and it was Kurt.

The thought helped him to relax and at some point he fell asleep with a smile on his lips.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Something stirred Sebastian awake abruptly. His heart was racing, he was sweating. Had it been a nightmare again?

No, he couldn't remember any dream. And the house was still absolutely quiet. What had woken him up like this?

Sebastian sat up in his bed and looked around. The room seemed less dark, a little moonlight glowed through the curtains revealing the familiar items in the room. There was the couch, the nightstand, the lamp, the closet, the white door-oh God!

"KURT !", Sebastian screamed.

There, right there next to the door stood a dark figure facing him.

Sebastian pulled back, hitting his back against the wall. He pulled the blankets up to his chin to shield himself. The figure didn't move. He covered his face with one arm.

"KUUUURT!"

The door swung open and the light was switched on.

"Sebastian! What is it?"

Kurt hurried over and spotted Sebastian hunched in on himself, shaking like a leaf.

He held him by the arms and shook him.

"Sebastian what happened? Are you hurt?", he asked terrified. The screams had scared the shit out of him.

Sebastian looked up to Kurt. His fingers grapped the sleeves of Kurt's pajamas.

He looked around and foynd the figure had disappeared.

He breathed with difficulty, burrying his head in Kurt's neck.

"Seb, calm down, I'm here", he said and rubbed the boy's back.

"Kurt, there w-as a man…he- he was standing right there-", Sebastian choked out, pointing towards the door.

Kurt looked around and found no signs of anyone. The windows were locked, the door hadn't been forced and the alarm was on all day.

"It was just a dream, Seb, just a bad dream. Look, there's no one here."

Sebastian looked around. He was sure he had seen something. Had it been just a shadow? A trick his mind had played on him? Suddenly he felt really pathetic, like a small child. But he still was frightened.

"You're safe…"

Sebastian nodded. But he couldn't stop shaking.

"Sebastian, are you alright?", Kurt asked softly. This wasn't normal.

"Let me feel you." He put a hand on Sebastian's forehead. No signs of fever. What was wrong?

"Kurt?", Sebastian asked in a small voice "can I- can I stay in your room?"

His cheeks heated up as he said it, but he couldn't stay here alone, he was terrified.

"Of course, Seb", Kurt said and held him close "come."

He picked up Sebastian's pillows and blankets and carried them to his own room, Sebastian following close behind.

"Wait here", he said, inviting Sebastian to sit in his bed. He looked nervously at Kurt.

"I'll be right back."

Sebastian burried his hands under his thighs. He felt cold. Soon Kurt reappeared, dragging the matress from Sebastian's room in. He placed it next to his own bed and arranged it. Sebastian crawled under the covers immediately.

Kurt watched him with worried eyes.

"I'll make some tea, Ok? Stay here."

It seemed an eternity to Sebastian, but he didn't want to be such a baby that couldn't stay alone for five minutes. He felt embarrased.

Kurt came back and handed Sebastian a steaming cup.

"Here, it will help you sleep."

They sat in silence as Sebastian drank his tea. Kurt took an extra blanket from the closet and pulled it over Sebastian's body. The shivering stopped after a while and his eyes began to close.

"Shall we go to sleep?", Kurt asked.

"Mhm"

"If you want we can leave the lamplight on", he offered.

Sebastian nodded, blushing again.

"It's Ok, Seb. Get some sleep. I'm right here if you need me."

They laid down and soon enough Sebastian had drifted off.

"Sweet dreams", Kurt whispered, knowing that tonight he would sleep with one eye open.


	10. Chapter 10

**Alright guys, here we go! Next chapter is up! I hope you enjoy. And thank you all for reading and reviewing!**

Sebastian browsed through the web trying to find something to wear for prom the next day. Kurt had offered to lend him one of Finn´s suits, but they wouldn´t really fit him, because the guy was at least one size bigger in hips and shoulders. And since Sebastian had decided to go and to go with a date, he wanted to look his best.

How he wished he had taken the damn suit from his room. Anyway, he had still one good credit card, with maybe 400$ or 500$ still available. It was his dad´s of course, one that he had forgotten to take back from Sebastian after he had withdrawn every privilege from his son the day he had found out that he was gay.

After googling for about an hour on Kurt´s laptop, Sebastian had found the perfect suit. It wasn´t quite the same he had purchased before, but it was very similar and less expensive. Now he just needed some luck and hope that the card would go through. It did. Sebastian smiled and waited anxiously for the mailman to arrive.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The day was snowy and going out of the house wasn´t an option. Kurt lit a fire in the chimney and made hot chocolate with little marshmallows. Together they sat close to the fire and talked about the upcoming party.

"Who do you think is gonna be prom queen and king?", Kurt wondered.

Sebastian shrugged.

"No idea."

"Who would you vote for?"

Sebastian thought of possible candidates.

"Hunter I guess and whatever girl he brings."

"Hmmm, so Hunty it is!", Kurt chuckled

"Shut up!", Sebastian hissed and tossed a pillow at Kurt "I don´t like him, I´m just sayin´…he´s like the type of guy who gets nominated. Who would you choose, anyway?"

Kurt smiled naughtily.

"You and me."

"Shut up already!", Sebastian blushed and another pillow was tossed Kurt´s way.

Luckily for Kurt the bell rang and Sebastian hurried over and opened up to a mailman with one large box in his hands.

"What´s that?", Kurt asked.

"Oh, just a little something to wear tomorrow."

"Can I see?"

"Yes, tomorrow."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That night they dragged themselves up to their bedrooms quiet late. The fired had died out and each one had drank half dozen cups of hot chocolate.

Sebastian remembered that his mattress and all of his stuff was still in Kurt´s room. He wasn´t sure if that was the new arrangement or it had just been for one night. Last night after moving in he had slept soundly, not dreaming about anything at all. He felt that with Kurt close to him the nightmares would stay away. He didn´t dare to ask, though. But Kurt seemed to have read his mind once again.

"Do you wanna stay in here or you prefer having your space?", he asked carefully.

"Uhm, I…I would stay here if…if that´s Ok with you…I mean-", Sebastian stuttered.

"That´s totally Ok, Seb", Kurt assured him "In fact I don´t like the darkness either and somehow it feels better when there´s company."

It wasn´t really true that Kurt was scared of the night, but he did enjoy Sebastian´s company and he would say anything that made him feel better.

Maybe it was the late hour or maybe it was the fact that he really felt safe around Kurt, but Sebastian drifted away immediately after crawling under the covers. Kurt was the sleepless one. Having Sebastian so close made it impossible for him to fall asleep. He watched him as he slept, remembering what his skin felt like on his lips.

Stop yourself, Kurt, a voice said inside his head.

He ignored it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt had chosen a black suit with a light pink shirt and a regular black tie. Simple but elegant. Of course he spent a good amount of time on his skin regime, which had been all but strict in the last weeks. He combed his hair, fixing it with a little bit of spray. He was looking good tonight.

Once he was done he knocked on Sebastian´s door.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, come in."

Sebastian was buttoning his shirt. He had gone for a silky black suit with slim fitting trousers, a matching black shirt, also slim fitting and a purple tie. He looked beautiful, Kurt thought to himself. It was like the suit was made for him.

Then Kurt fetched his make up set, which he didn´t use a lot, but this time it was needed. He helped Sebastian cover the bruises that were visible on his neck and the cut on his face, where the scar had not yet vanished.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We can always turn around if you want", Kurt said.

Sebastian shook his head. Kurt knew that he was scared, but he was trying to be brave.

They entered the big hall, which was already full of people. Boys in elegant suits and girls wearing colorful dresses. The music was loud and the atmosphere was just great.

Sebastian walked close to Kurt, terrified to be confronted with his former classmates. Many boys were turning their heads towards them, mainly waving at Kurt. Sebastian felt like every pair of eyes was on him. They would see the marks on his skin, they would notice something had happened to him and they would make questions and they would make comments. He felt as if he was made of glass, like everyone could see right through him. He avoided making eye contact with anyone.

"Kurt! Seb!", someone called from behind.

They turned around and much to Sebastian´s relief it was Blaine.

"I was wondering what took you so long. Come, I got ourselves a good table."

They followed Blaine to a small round table. His brother Cooper, who had come as Blaine´s plus one, lifted himself and greeted the boys. They sat down and Cooper poured everyone a glass of champagne.

"Cheers", he said, lifting his glass "Congratulations to the three of you!"

Everyone drank their champagne and soon they were immersed in all sorts of conversation subjects and Sebastian felt himself relax.

Kurt, who loved to dance, could not stay seated for too long. When his favorite songs began to play, he stood up and encouraged the other three to join him on the dance floor. The DJ was really good, he kept switching from pop to techno, some hip hop and even some old classics.

Sebastian was a great dancer, he loved dancing, almost as much as Kurt did. They danced together, switched couples with Blaine and Cooper and then alone again. Sebastian just let himself go and his body connected with the beat of the music. It felt like riding the horse, absolute bliss and freedom and he was glad he had come.

The music was tuned lower for a while and everyone made their way back to the tables.

"Hey guys!", someone called their way.

Sebastian turned around and spotted the one person he didn´t want to see. Jeff.

"Hey there, Kurt. What´s up?"

"Hi, Jeff."

Nick was with him. Sebastian had been all but nice to both these guys during the year, he wouldn´t expect them to even say hello. He felt sorry now for having been a jackass, but he preferred to avoid them anyway. He turned away from the group, before they noticed him.

Too late.

"Is that your date, Kurt?", Jeff asked in awe as he spotted Sebastian who stood suspiciously close to Kurt.

"Yes", Kurt said plainly. He wasn´t aware of the tension between Sebastian and the two other boys.

Sebastian turned around and faced them, ready to throw a nasty comment their way. But Jeff beat him to it.

"The man-whore? Seriously, Kurt?", Jeff said, looking at Sebastian in disgust "Wow, you really could do better than that."

Kurt frowned, but he understood right away that there had to be some background story here. Whatever it was, he didn´t care to know, Sebastian was his friend and his date and no one would mess with him. So before Sebastian could open his mouth Kurt stepped in between. He took Sebastian´s hand.

"No, I don´t think so", he said calmly. He looked around the hall and faced Jeff again "How could I do any better, when I am dancing with the handsomest boy in the room?"

Before things could get any worse Blaine jumped in, pulling Sebastian away from the scene and guiding him over to the table.

"You forgot everything he did to us? To you especially?", Jeff said, still disbelieving his eyes.

Kurt stepped closer to the blonde boy, until his faces where only inches apart. He didn´t have anything against Jeff, but he it would be a cold day in hell, before Kurt allowed anyone to call Sebastian a man-whore.

"No, I haven´t", he said firmly "But I have forgiven him. Now mind your own business, or this is gonna get fucking ugly!"

Not Jeff, not Nick and not anybody else had ever seen Kurt this mad. The way his eyes pierced Jeff´s and how his jar clenched when he threatened him, it was like watching a furious bull. The couple stepped back and Kurt readjusted his tie and moved back to his table.

His anger vanished right away as he saw Blaine wiping away a tear from Sebastian´s cheek.

Kurt joined the other two, he sat down next to Sebastian and put an arm around his shoulder.

"Hey, don´t listen to them", he said "just forget they are here."

Sebastian nodded in silence.

"It´s alright, Seb", Blaine said and winked to him "we´ve got your back."

Sebastian smiled with watery eyes. Kurt pushed away the hair on Sebastian´s forehead and fixed his tie.

"Now we can´t have the handsomest of all boys looking sad", he said as he stood up again "luckily I know a way to put a smile on that face".

Kurt held out his hand, inviting Sebastian to the dancefloor again. Sebastian took it with a smile already forming on his lips.

Blaine fetched Cooper and they followed. The warm feeling of music again filled Sebastian´s body. Kurt was right, he knew how to make him smile. How did he, though? How did Kurt always seem to have the right answer to everything?

Glasses of champagne and wine were passed around and the boys took a break from all the dancing. The cold, sparkling drink was so refreshing, that Kurt had not one, but two glasses in a row. He felt the champagne going to his head and excused himself.

"I´ll be right back", he said to the others and left for the restroom. He ran some cold water through the back if his neck. He watched himself in the mirror and fixed his hair, which had gone a little messy with all the dancing. Hell, was he looking good tonight. He winked to himself and headed back to the hall.

As Kurt made his way through the dance floor he noticed Sebastian sitting at their table and suddenly he looked ten times more beautiful. The romantic tunes had begun to play and the couples had switched to slow, cuddled dancing. The girls leaned their heads on their boyfriend´s shoulders and let themselves be guided by the boys´ slow, careful steps. All the couples were dancing and Sebastian was the only one sitting, looking uncomfortable.

But then Blaine and Cooper, who as brothers would never dance to romantic songs together, approached the table. Cooper sat down, but Blaine, who noticed Sebastian´s loneliness held out his hand, inviting the boy for a dance. Sebastian hesitated first, but then accepted.

Blaine was really sweet, Kurt thought. He gently guided Sebastian to the center, he put a hand on Sebastian´s waist and with the other he took his hand and guided the steps.

Kurt watched them and he felt a smile grow on his own face. Instead of heading to the table, he turned towards the stage. He approached the DJ and asked him to allow him the next song. The guy complied and instructed his musicians to play the melody to Kurt´s song.

Kurt grabbed the microphone and did what he did best, he began to sing.

 _He may be the face I can't forget  
The trace of pleasure or regret  
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay  
He may be the song the summer sings  
May be the chill the autumn brings  
May be a hundred different things  
Within the measure of a day_

All heads turned towards the stage. And with good reason. Kurt´s voice was magnificent for this song. But there was one only person who his eyes searched for in the crowd.

 _He may be the beauty or the beast  
May be the famine or the feast  
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell  
He may be the mirror of my dreams  
The smile reflected in a stream  
He may not be what he may seem inside his shell_

Sebastian had stopped dancing and had his eyes fixed on Kurt, his cheeks slightly blushed. Their eyes met and Kurt smiled brightly as the melody kept playing. And as Kurt breathed in and resumed the song, he looked only to the boy who stood there, startled, and all his thoughts were on Sebastian, all of his heart was beating for Sebastian.

 _He who always seems so happy in a crowd  
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud  
No one's allowed to see them when they cry  
He may be the love that cannot hope to last  
May come to me from shadows of the past  
But I'll remember till the day I die_

 _He may be the reason I survive  
The why and wherefore I'm alive  
The one I'll care for through the rough in many years  
Me, I'll take his laughter and his tears  
And make them all my souvenirs  
For where he goes I've got to be  
The meaning of my life is he  
He…ooooh he…._

People cheered. Sebastian´s heart was beating fast, he couldn´t breathe, he needed air. He watched Kurt handing the microphone back to the DJ and before he could step down from the stage, Sebastian turned around.

"I need some air", he said to Blaine and rushed through the crowd towards the exit door. He ran and stopped only when he reached the parking lot, where he could be absolutely alone. He leaned against Kurt´s car and crouched down to regain his breath.

Sebastian felt a knot in his chest. Had Kurt just dedicated a song to him? No, maybe he was just singing a romantic song he liked, yes it had to be that. But a voice in his mind kept whispering to him, that there was more to it. Deep down he knew, there was more to Kurt´s feelings than what Sebastian wanted to accept. He had kept shoving away the thought. He was terrified of facing it. Again the same question that hung in the air all the time rang in Sebastian´s mind. What did Kurt want from him?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt pushed himself through the dancing bodies. He couldn´t find Sebastian. Blaine had seen him and hurried over.

"Kurt! Over here!"

"Oh, there you are. God, it´s so crowded here!"

The boys moved back to their table.

"Where´s Sebastian?", Kurt asked.

"Uhm, at the restroom I guess. He said he needed some air…"

"Well, I don´t blame him. Not one more needle could fit in this hall."

Blaine poured some more wine into their glasses.

"That was one hell of a performance, Kurt!", Cooper congratulated him, patting his back "If I didn´t know you any better, I´d say it was addressing someone in particular?"

Kurt blushed a little but avoided to respond. Maybe he could fool Cooper, but Blaine knew Kurt like he knew the back of his own hand.

"Hmmm, is there anything you wanna tell me, Kurt?", he asked, teasing Kurt.

"Nooope"

"Oh, come on! You wouldn´t tell your best friend? Do you forget that I watched you fall in love with me? I know that face!"

Blaine chuckled and Kurt´s face was deep red.

"Ok, Ok…yeah, maybe there are some feelings, Ok…", he admitted.

Of course he knew that was a total lie. There were not just some feelings, the fact was that he had fallen for Sebastian and he had fallen hard.

"Hey, you keep that to yourself, Ok?", he burst out suddenly.

"Relax, I won´t say a word"; Blaine assured him "Does he know?"

Kurt shook his head.

"I can´t throw that onto him right now, if ever. He´s got enough to deal with."

"Well I agree, but still…he´s not silly, nor blind, nor deaf. Are you sure he´s not aware of your feelings towards him?"

Kurt watched Blaine as he reasoned. He was probably right.

"Well, however it is", Blaine added "I´m really happy for Sebastian. He´s lucky to have someone like you caring for him."

He hugged Kurt fondly and it almost made Kurt cry. Blaine was such a great friend.

"Speaking of which…", Kurt said, looking around the hall "where is he?"

It had been several minutes since they had sat down.

"I need to go to the restroom anyway, I´ll check and see if he´s still outside", Blaine said and lifted himself.

"I´m coming with you."

The boys made their way to the exit. They entered the restroom and looked around. He wasn´t there.

"Let´s go outside"

They stepped out into the cold night.

A few couples stood there, close to the entrance. They mostly came out to have a cigarette and then hurried back inside, escaping the cold. But there was no sign of Sebastian. Kurt began to worry. They asked some of the boys and girls who where around if they had seen him, but they all shook their heads.

They looked around, trying to guess just where he could have gone, but there were not that many options.

"Blaine, are you sure we checked the restrooms thoroughly?"

"Yes, totally. And he wasn´t in the hall either…"

A girl in a pink dress who was walking by seemed to have caught their conversation.

"Excuse me, you said you were looking for a boy?", she asked.

"Yes", Kurt said "He´s tall and very thin. Light brown hair. He was wearing a purple tie."

"Yes, I saw him", the girl nodded "he went that way."

She pointed towards the parking lot.

"Thank you so much!", the boys said and hurried towards Kurt´s car.

But there was not a soul to be seen around the entire parking area. Kurt pulled out his phone and dialed Sebastian´s number.

"Come on, Seb, pick up…"

But Sebastian didn´t pick up. Kurt felt his stomach twist. He had a bad feeling about the situation, something was very wrong.

 **Cliffhanger! I know I´m mean. But the next chapter is almost finished. You can write a little review here and you know that it will make me update sooner!**

 **Also if you liked the song you can look it up, it´s "She" from Elvis Costello. Some of you probably know it. I thought the lyrics were perfect for this scene.**

 **Love you all!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi there, wonderful people! Thank you all for following the story and supporting! I hope you like this chapter!**

"Blaine, he´s not answering!"

"Ok, Ok, relax. He can´t have gone that far…let me think."

"Did he say anything? Did he seem upset?"

Kurt was freaking out by now.

"No. Just that he needed air. He seemed fine."

"Did he look sick or something?", Kurt insisted.

"Just his usual pale…look maybe he just felt overwhelmed by all the people and Jeff´s comment from earlier. Maybe he wanted some space."

"Sounds rational, but where the hell did he go looking for space?"

"Let´s go check at your place. Maybe he´s waiting for you there."

Kurt wasn´t totally convinced of the idea, but it was a start. They jumped inside the car and drove back to Kurt´s house. Blaine called Cooper to excuse himself. He explained the situation and asked him to call them if he saw Sebastian at the party by any chance.

They made it to Kurt´s house in less than ten minutes. The lights were out and Sebastian wasn´t waiting there. He also had no spare key, so there was no way he could have gotten inside. Still the boys entered and called out his name. But as expected, no one answered. They returned outside and looked around the block, but the streets seemed dead. It was past midnight anyway.

Kurt tried in vane to call his cellphone, he didn´t pick up and eventually the call went straight to voice mail.

"Shit, Blaine, what the fuck?"

Kurt was on the verge of crying. His mind was absolutely clear now, the effect of alcohol long vanished.

"Did I- did I make a mistake by singing that song for him?"

Blaine shrugged.

"I don´t know. But right now nothing else makes sense."

Kurt walked from one end of the porch to the other, rubbing his temples, searching for possible trains of thought that might have gone through Sebastian´s mind.

"Ok, if he got upset by anything related to Jeff or someone else, he would have told us. I had promised to drive us home the moment he asked me to. But he didn´t."

"So-you mean he has to be avoiding you or us both then?"

Kurt nodded.

"Only me. And if that´s the case, of course he wouldn´t be waiting here. That means he´s gone somewhere else, where he´s alone."

"What can that be at this hour? Has he anywhere else to go?"

"No-he wouldn´t go back to his house, he never-"

Kurt´s mouth went dry, he gasped for air.

"Shit!"

Before he could afford to say anything else he was already hurrying inside the car, Blaine following close behind. He drove as fast as he could. Blaine was clueless, but he didn´t dare to ask where they were heading to. Kurt crossed s few red lights and for God´s sake the streets were empty at this time of the night.

"The Central Station?", Blaine asked in surprise as Kurt abruptly stopped the car in the station´s parking area.

"If he´s trying to get somewhere this is the only option there is at this hour."

"Right", Blaine hissed as he ran behind Kurt.

There were few people at the station and not many trains scheduled for these late hours. Lima wasn´t what you´d call a metropolis. The boys ran through the entire place, earning everyone´s attention. Sebastian was nowhere to be seen. They asked a few people if they had seen him, but they all shook their heads no. Blaine checked the schedule of trains departing that night. One had left at 10 pm for Dayton. But at that time Sebastian had still been at the party with them. And the next train was scheduled to leave in just ten minutes.

They searched again and again through the station and they waited until that last train departed, checking on every person that got on. But there was no Sebastian. The train left and only a handful of people stayed behind, mostly guards and staff.

Kurt looked defeated. Where else could he be?

A light went on in Blaine´s head.

"Hey, what if he didn´t come for the Central Station?"

"You mean-"

Words weren´t needed. They had both understood right away and ran back to the car. Kurt stepped hard on the gas pedal and Blaine could do nothing but pray that they wouldn´t kill themselves crossing the next red light.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The East End Station was old and almost obsolete. Very few trains came and went from there. It was on the not so nice side of the town.

Kurt and Blaine weren´t surprised to see that it was a lot emptier than Central Station. The hall was weakly lit and a nasty smell hung in the air. The place didn´t look friendly and both boys felt nervous as they walked by a sleeping beggar and what seemed a gang of crack smoking outcasts.

There was only one train on the departure schedule. It left in twenty minutes. The previous one had left early in the evening.

"Look, it leaves from platform 5", Blaine pointed out.

"Where the fuck is that?", Kurt asked in confusion, as he could only see platforms 1 to 4.

"Underground, I guess", Blaine said and hurried to the stairs, dragging Kurt behind him.

A humid heat emerged from there and the smell got worse with every step they descended. The place was altogether creepy. They looked around. It was absolutely quiet, except-

"Shhh, what was that?", Kurt whispered to Blaine as he thought he had heard something.

He heard it again, more clearly this time. A muffled sob came from the far end of the platform. Kurt hurried over in that direction.

There, sitting on a bench , hunched in on himself, sat a boy in a black suit. He was hugging his knees tightly and pressing his face into his elbows. Kurt recognized him right away.

"Sebastian!"

The boy´s head tilted up as he recognized the familiar voice. Kurt hurried over towards the bench.

"What THE HELL were you thinking?!", he burst out and it surprised himself how angry he sounded.

Sebastian had stood up, he looked at Kurt in fear, stepping back to put a fair distance between them. Blaine had stayed away, watching the interaction wordlessly.

"Seriously, Sebastian, don´t you ever think before you do anything? We´ve looked EVERYWHERE for you! LOOK AROUND, ANYTHING COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU HERE!"

"Stay away!", Sebastian´s pleading voice seemed so small compared to Kurt´s yelling.

"What do you want from me, Kurt?"

His question wasn´t a rhetoric one, though. He was genuinely asking for an answer, an answer to a question that didn´t let him sleep.

"What?", Kurt said. Now he was the one confused "What do you mean by that?"

He couldn´t help his voice, he was still barking at Sebastian, who flinched at every word.

"Why are you helping me?", Sebastian´s voice began to crack "W-why are you so nice to me to let me stay at your house, sleep in your room and take me out as your date, w-what do you want from me in return?"

For a split second there was absolute silence. Kurt felt like he had been slapped, slapped with words.

"What do I WANT from you? What! What in God´s name is wrong with you? This isn´t trading! I don´t WANT anything!"

"Of course you do, no one does anything for free. You just wanna get inside my pants like all the others!"

Sebastian´s eyes filled with tears, he felt frightened that Kurt might hit him.

"Is that what you think?", Kurt whispered bitterly. He couldn´t believe this was happening. They couldn´t possibly be having this ridiculous conversation. He wanted to yell at Sebastian and slap him to make him come to senses. But when he spoke again, Kurt´s voice had found a remarkably calm tone. There was no anger, just deep disappointment.

"You´re not being fair, Sebastian. I never did anything to make you feel that way…and if that´s what you got from the time we spent together these past weeks, then I´m terribly sorry. But I never had such intentions with you and it disappoints me that you believe me to be that kind of person."

Sebastian had expected to be cursed at, he had expected Kurt to yell even louder and tell him he should leave or at least he had expected Kurt to turn around and walk away. But he remained there, ready to take all of Sebastian´s insults and accusations. If he wasn´t trying to get him into his bed, then what? What did he want from him? It confused him, nothing made sense to him and the frustration was so huge then that he broke apart and began to cry openly. For the hundredth time he was crying in front of Kurt and he didn´t even understand why.

The train would arrive any minute now, he had to get on it and leave for good. He couldn´t do this to Kurt, he couldn´t hurt him. He was a burden and nobody needed that in their lives, especially not someone as happy and full of life as Kurt, who over and over again turned the other cheek, even when he shouldn´t. Sebastian knew he didn´t deserve Kurt, he had just ruined prom night for him and he would keep making more damage if he stayed.

Kurt moved a step closer, but Sebastian stepped back, he tripped and fell. His palms scraped open as he hit the rough cement floor. At once Kurt was at his side, helping him up. He guided the taller boy to the bench and had him sit down.

"Let me see", he said, taking Sebastian´s hands gently "It´s Ok, it´s not that bad."

He took a kleenex from his pocket and carefully dabbed at the wounded areas.

"Does it hurt?"

Sebastian sniffed and shook his head. Kurt handed him the tissue, so he could dry his eyes. But he just kept crying.

Kurt crouched down in front of him and softly rubbed his knee, patiently waiting for the boy to calm down.

"Why did you sing for me tonight?", he asked with a small voice, avoiding Kurt´s eyes.

Kurt´s face softened and he bit his lip, looking to the floor for a moment before he eyed Sebastian.

"Do you really not know?", he asked softly.

Sebastian started to sob and shook his head, because he didn´t understand anything. The world seemed to him like a riddle, impossible to figure out.

"Because I love you…"

It was barely a whisper.

This was not how Kurt had imagined it to be like. He never had pictured to have Sebastian crying when he confessed his love for him. But most things in life don´t go as planned and in the end, there they were, in the middle of the night in a filthy old station and a silent witness a few steps away from them. The words were said and then there was silence.

The sentence resonated in Sebastian´s ears. The sound of it…it was new. Yes, it was definitely new, he would remember if he had heard it before, but his ears were virgin to the sound of those words. He wanted to smile, but then a voice inside his head spoke up.

"No, Kurt", he said bitterly as more and more tears fell from his eyes, the white tissue long gone damp and useless. He shook his head and looked at the schedule, only two more minutes for the train to arrive.

"You can´t love me…", he whispered.

"…I already do…"

Sebastian kept shaking his head.

"You wouldn´t love me if you knew what happened-", he was cut off by a watery hiccup.

"What, Seb?", Kurt asked softly.

"I am no good for you, I´m damaged", he sobbed "You don´t want any of that in your life. Please, just let me go."

One more minute for the train.

Kurt cupped Sebastian´s face with both hands.

"Nothing you tell me will change what I feel, Seb", he said, looking into his eyes.

"You wouldn´t even want me anywhere near you!", he burst out "I´m sorry, you´ve been kind to me, you don´t deserve to share my hell."

Kurt rubbed Sebastian´s arms soothingly.

"You´re scared…I know. But you´re not alone in this. I´m by your side and I will be there for as long as you allow me to…Look, I don´t need you to love me back, I don´t need a romantic relationship, because I know you´re not ready for one. I just want to help you. We´ll figure this out together…Please, Seb, please just come back home…"

"But-but I- I don´t even let you sleep because of my nightmares. I know it, you have dark bags under your eyes…"

Kurt smiled weakly.

"Then I´ll put more foundation on them, so it doesn´t show."

"And I- I panic all the time, I cry almost ev-very day…", Sebastian said in embarrassment.

Kurt chuckled softly.

"Then I´ll tickle you every time until I have you laughing again."

A loud creak filled the hall as the train drove in on the rusty tracks. It stopped and the doors swung opened. Sebastian looked to the one closest to him, he slid his hand into his pocket, finding the ticket. He looked again to Kurt, who remained there, crouched down on his heels, looking at him with sweet, gentle eyes.

Last call.

He looked again to the train. It was almost empty, no one had exited or jumped on. He remained still, the internal debate died out.

The doors closed and the train departed.

Kurt closed his eyes in relief and held his hand out for Sebastian to take. He accepted it and both boys got on their feet. And then Sebastian threw himself into Kurt´s arms and hugged him so tight, that Kurt feared he would break a rib. He returned the hug, of course, neither of them willing to let go.

 **Still like it? Wanna know how this continues? Then please please please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I recommend you guys get a box of tissues before you read this chapter!**

Christmas was not far away. The cold was intensifying and it snowed more and more often these days. Kurt cursed himself for having procrastinated this for so long, but he had to tell his dad and Carole about Sebastian sooner or later. It was better to get it done.

"Hey, Kurt. I was wondering when you were going to call…"

"Hi dad. I´m sorry, I really didn´t want to disturb you guys, you´re on holiday after all", said Kurt.

"Well, I won´t lie. It´s good to relax, the weather is nice and we´re enjoying it. We miss you, though."

"Me too, dad. "

"You know I wanted you to come with us on this trip."

"I know, but it´s not the same when you´re together with Carole and Finn is with Rachel…I mean, I´m single and it would feel like I´m the fifth wheel, you know…besides, you could use some time on your own, right?"

"Well, you could fly in for Christmas at least, what do you say? Just a few days, we don´t want you to spend Christmas alone…"

"Oh, no, well I- that´s actually why I was calling you, dad. I won´t be alone for Christmas….sit down somewhere, I need to tell you something…"

And so Kurt tried to explain in five minutes a story of eighteen years. When he was done, Burt was speechless.

"Sweet Lord, that sounds terrible, Kurt!"

"I know, dad…and I´m really sorry for not telling you guys earlier."

"Well, it´s a lot to take in. I- I- don´t know what to think…is he alright?"

Burt was confused and shocked and worried, all at the same time.

"Yeah, he´s OK."

"And you? I-I mean-that boy made your life a living hell!"

"I´m fine, dad. I know this is hard to process, I don´t believe it myself, you know? But he´s not that person anymore and he just needed help. I´m sorry, dad. I should have asked your permission-just, please say that you´re not mad at me…"

"Mad? No, son, I´m not mad at you", Burt said after a while "I´m worried, yes…but I´m actually proud of you!"

Kurt hadn´t expected that. He sighed in relief. His dad was the greatest.

"But listen, son. This boy might need professional help. I don´t feel at ease if you´re there, trying to fix this on your own."

"No dad, it´s OK. Just don´t worry, everything´s fine. Look, I- I promise to call you if I need any help."

Burt was thoughtful for a while.

"Well, alright, Kurt. I trust you to handle this. But please call us and keep us up to date."

"Yes, dad. Sure thing!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Baking Christmas cookies is for babies…", Sebastian protested as the two boys sat at the kitchen table and Kurt kneaded the dough.

"Always love your constructive criticism, Seb"

Kurt sighed, transferring the dough from one hand to the other and rolling it out on the table. Then he brought out the frosting and the chocolate chips, which immediately brought Sebastian´s attention onto the whole enterprise.

"Still too lame for you?", Kurt asked sarcastically.

Sebastian smirked and stretched out his arm, trying to dip a finger in the frosting bowl. Kurt slapped his hand away.

"Hands off!"

"Hey! Come on, just a little…", Sebastian protested.

"Hmhm, you said this was for babies…remember?"

Kurt took delight in torturing Sebastian.

"OK then, I´ll help you if I can have some of that", he said pointing to the bowl.

"Deal", said Kurt and passed the bowl across the table.

Sebastian grabbed it and dipped his finger, shoving big amounts of frosting into his mouth. Kurt watched him from the corner of his eye. He looked like a child in candy-land.

Kurt chopped off pieces of dough and formed them round. Then he spread some chocolate chips on top and placed the still raw cookies on a plate.

"So, what did your dad say when you told him?", Sebastian asked after a while.

"He was wondering if we were killing each other by now…", Kurt said, winking.

Sebastian was thoughtful as he played with a piece of dough.

"Was he angry?", he asked carefully.

Kurt shook his head.

"No, actually he was glad, you know?", Kurt said with a smile.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yep, because I won´t be alone for Christmas."

Sebastian took some chocolate chips, but chose to eat them instead of decorating his cookie.

"Your dad sounds like a good guy…"

Kurt smiled.

"He is."

"Did he like…always approve you?", Sebastian asked.

"You mean the fact that I chose boys instead of girls? Yes, he did…"

Kurt formed one more cookie as he spoke.

"He didn´t understand, you know? It was something utterly new to him, to his entire generation, actually. But he still supported me right from the start."

Sebastian couldn´t help but looking a little sad. He was happy for Kurt, but he also wished he had had the same luck. Kurt knew where Sebastian´s thoughts were going and it wasn´t a nice place. He took a spoonful of frosting.

"Open up", he said and fed it to Sebastian, who smiled in delight. A little bit of sugar could work wonders.

"Now get to work, you´ve produced one lousy cookie! Against eight of mine!"

The plate was put into the oven and a lovely smell began to fill the kitchen as the boys waited.

"So, when are you expecting to hear from NYADA?", Kurt inquired.

"After the holidays, I guess. But I don´t make myself too many illusions…"

"Why not? You certainly are talented", Kurt argued.

Sebastian shrugged.

"Don´t know…I just have a feeling that it´s not going to happen for me…"

"I´m sure they´ll notice you. You´ll get your audition and kill it!", he said, hoping to encourage the other boy.

Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but Kurt hoped it would happen for Sebastian, so they´d be together in New York.

Sebastian tried for a small smile and kept spooning more frosting.

"Hey, enough of that frosting! You´ll get an upset stomach!", Kurt yelped and took back the bowl, which had been emptied down to the half.

Suddenly the door bell rang and the boys looked at each other in wonder.

"Who could that be?", Kurt said, frowning.

He lifted himself.

"Wait here, keep an eye on the cookies."

He crossed the hall towards the front door and opened up.

Kurt caught his breath as he saw the man who stood on his porch.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Hummel"

The man looked the way Sebastian would probably look some thirty years ahead from now. This had to be no other than Sven Smythe.

"Y-yes?", Kurt said and he was sure his jaw was trembling, the mere presence of the man was intimidating. He wore a black suit and a black coat with matching leather gloves.

"I´m looking for Sebastian"

How did he know Sebastian was here?

"Kurt! Come check on this!", Sebastian called from the kitchen.

Kurt cursed silently.

"I´m coming!", he called back, hoping Sebastian would stay away.

"What do you want from him?", he said, looking at Sven Smythe. How did this man know that Sebastian was staying here? How did he find out?

"That is none of your business"

"You should leave right now, Mister"

Too late. Sebastian had made his way to the door.

"Kurt, the cookies are about-"

He stopped right there and dropped the coffee mug he was holding in his hands. It shattered on the floor. No, this wasn´t happening. This man couldn´t be standing here, it wasn´t possible. Sebastian turned pale as a sheet as he stood there, next to Kurt.

"W-what d-do you-", he stuttered, hands trembling at his sides.

"I told you to stay away from my business. I see my last message wasn´t clear enough. Perhaps you need a reminder?"

Sebastian shook his head fervently.

"No, Sir", he whispered, as his eyes filled with frightened tears.

Kurt stepped between the father and son, shielding Sebastian protectively.

"If you dare to touch him-", Kurt threatened, but he was cut off immediately.

"Wow, wow, I see you got yourself a girlfriend, Sebastian", he said, eyeing Kurt from head to toe in total disgust.

"Or are you the girl, Sebastian?", he mocked "You really like taking it up the ass, don´t you?"

Sebastian was unable to speak, he was petrified.

"You´re standing on private property, if you don´t leave, I´ll call the police", Kurt said firmly, trying to remain calm, even when he wanted to punch the guy in the face.

"Don´t worry, I take no delight in standing on your filthy, middle class property", he continued and looked now to his son, who looked like he was about to break down right there.

"Let me be clear, I don´t like to be fooled. I know you used one of my credit cards online and had your stuff shipped to this address. I´m not stupid, Sebastian."

How could Sebastian have been so silly? He cursed himself for being so careless.

"I-I´m-", Sebastian tried to explain.

"Shut up! Consider this your last warning. Next time I won´t be so friendly."

With that said, the man turned around and walked back to his Mercedes, where his driver opened the door for him. The boys watched the car disappear down the road.

Kurt guided a shaking Sebastian back inside and locked the door from the inside.

He held Sebastian´s arms, trying to keep them from trembling.

"It´s Ok, Seb. He´s gone. Just breathe"

Sebastian tried to do that.

"I´m sorry", he whispered, looking down and covering his crotch.

It broke Kurt´s heart when he saw that Sebastian had wet himself.

"Don´t worry", he said sweetly " I´ll clean this up. You go change, Ok?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt was just in time to prevent the cookies from burning and going to waste.

Sebastian came down in a fresh pair of sweatpants and with a very different look from the one he had when they were baking earlier that afternoon. It made Kurt sad.

Sebastian sat down and Kurt handed him a warm cookie and a cup of fresh coffee.

"Thanks", he mumbled. He didn´t eat, though. His fingers kept playing nervously with the hem of his shirt.

"Not hungry?", Kurt asked softly.

Sebastian shook his head, putting his cookie down on his plate. His hands were still shaking a bit.

Kurt stood up and walked around the table to stand next to Sebastian. He hugged him gently and ran his fingers through the boy´s soft hair.

"I got scared, too, Seb."

"What if he comes back?", Sebastian asked in fear.

"No, no, no. He won´t. I promised I wouldn´t let him touch you, remember?"

"I was so stupid to use his card", Sebastian recriminated himself "Why did I do it?"

He was growing anxious again, he felt on the verge of a panic attack.

"Shhh, it´s alright. Nothing happened. I´m right here and he´s not coming back, I promise", Kurt tried to soothe him.

Sebastian knew that no matter Kurt´s intentions, he wasn´t able to stand up to Sven Smythe, no one was. The man was simply invincible and he always got his way.

Kurt was worried that Sven had his address, he knew now where to find his son. But he wanted to avoid that Sebastian got all worked up because of this. He broke a cookie in two and held a piece in front of Sebastian´s mouth.

"Come on, try one", he offered.

The smell was so sweet, so Sebastian accepted. It tasted wonderful and warm, the chocolate chips had melted between the dough.

"Feeling better?"

Sebastian nodded.

Kurt lit a fire in the chimney and the boys gathered around it to warm themselves up. They watched some TV to distract themselves from the events of earlier. Sebastian tried to focus on the movie, but his thoughts kept escaping to his father. There was a hollow sensation in his stomach, he felt like throwing up, his palms were sweating and he breathed raggedly.

A storm was coming up, loud thunder and lightning suddenly filled the evening. Sebastian hated storms. He hugged himself and leaned against Kurt. He put an arm around the taller boy.

"Seb, you´re shaking", he noticed.

"Can we-can we close the door?", Sebastian asked nervously.

"I´ve already closed it, don´t worry", Kurt said and rubbed Sebastian´s arm.

"Can you check again?"

Kurt lifted himself and walked to the front door.

"Locked. And the alarm is on, too", he assured.

"Windows?"

"Also locked"

Kurt sat down again.

"You´re safe here. He´s not coming back, OK?"

Sebastian nodded, he knew he was being paranoid, but he couldn´t help but feeling distressed.

"I-I´m scared, Kurt"

Kurt hugged him.

"Me too. Trust me, though. He´s gone."

A loud thunder rumbled outside, making Sebastian flinch.

"I don´t like storms", he said in a small voice.

"It will pass in a few minutes", Kurt said "here, take another cookie."

A bolt of lightning lit up the room for a split second and then the rain began to pour down, hitting strongly against the windows.

Sebastian covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut.

"No, please, no-", he whispered.

It was just like that night, it was happening all over again. First there had been a storm and then-

"Sebastian, sweetheart… What´s going on?", Kurt asked in concern.

"He´s coming!"

Kurt looked around before holding Sebastian´s arms again.

"Nobody´s coming. I´m right here, look at me"

Sebastian wanted to explain to Kurt, but how? There was no time. Any minute the man would burst through the door. Right after the lightning, that´s how it had happened. He was coming, there was no escaping.

"Sebastian, please look at me", Kurt pushed as he noticed the other boy disconnecting from reality "Just take a deep breath for me, can you do that?"

Kurt showed him how and Sebastian mirrored his slow, deep breaths. His heartrate slowed down a bit, closer to normal. He felt Kurt´s hands soothing him. He looked around, he was home, not at the Smythe´s, but his real home, with Kurt. He was safe here, he had to be. Kurt had promised so. He took another cookie and brought it to his mouth with a shaking hand. He managed to eat it up and push down a few sips of coffee.

"There you go. Do you feel better?", Kurt asked.

Sebastian nodded. He leaned back in the couch, trying to relax. The fire warmed his feet, his hands and then Kurt was draping a thin comforter over both their legs.

They were silent for a long while. The TV was on, but neither of them were really watching. Then suddenly Sebastian reached out to hold Kurt´s hand. He was surprised, but squeezed back gently and rubbed his thumb over the back of Sebastian´s hand.

The boy looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn´t know where to start. Kurt waited patiently, not letting go of his hand. The fire reflected a special light over Sebastian´s pale face. His eyes were glassy and his cheeks slightly blushed from the heat coming from the chimney. He held onto Kurt with his right hand and hugged his knees with his left arm. But he was unable to look at the other boy as he began to speak.

"It was a night just like this…more than year ago", he whispered.

Kurt listened intently, devoting all of his attention to Sebastian as he began to tell a story.

"There was a guy who lived down the road, we were friends, his name was Michael. I always knew I liked boys and I liked him. He wasn´t so sure himself, you know? But anyway we made out. We were at the park near our homes when I kissed him. It was my first kiss…"

Kurt kept rubbing Sebastian´s hand, he remained absolutely silent, encouraging the other boy to continue.

 _Sebastian had come home that day smiling all over. He kept replaying the moment in his mind. His first kiss. He had dreamed of it for so long, wondering how it would be. It had been perfect. He fell asleep that night with a warm feeling in his heart._

 _The door opened, allowing some light in, waking Sebastian from his sleep. He blinked and recognized his father standing there, looking down at him. The door closed behind him and it was dark again._

 _"_ _Dad?"_

 _The man never came into his room, not even to wish him a good night or to tuck him in. He was barely even around, so his sudden presence surprised Sebastian. He heard loud thunder outside, he hadn´t noticed the storm until that moment._

 _"_ _I know what you did today"_

 _Sebastian felt his blood run cold. He was suddenly fully awake. He couldn´t see his father´s face clearly in the dark, but his voice revealed everything Sebastian needed to know. He sat up, pulling his knees to his chest and hugging himself. He didn´t dare to say a word. How did he know? Who had seen him, who had told?_

 _"_ _You were with that boy"_

 _Sebastian´s fears were confirmed. His father knew. And of course, he didn´t like it._

 _"_ _You are not going to deny it?"_

 _What good would it do to lie? Sebastian swallowed nervously._

 _"_ _No", he whispered, looking down._

 _He felt ashamed._

 _"_ _It´s true, dad", he said in a small voice. His whole body was shaking. Of course that wasn´t the answer his father was expecting to hear._

 _"_ _How long?", the cold voice pierced through the dark "How long have you been into this?"_

 _Sebastian didn´t dare to speak. He feared what would come next. His father would beat him up, for sure. The intense rain began to hit the windows mercilessly._

 _"_ _I´ve asked you a question"_

 _There was no turning back from here, he might better just say it._

 _"_ _Since always…", Sebastian whispered. He pulled the blanket closer to his body, as if that could somehow shield him._

 _"_ _You´re not even embarrassed, you little slut!"_

 _The man´s voice grew louder with each word._

 _Sebastian felt tears coming down his cheeks, he was so scared._

 _"_ _I´m not", he cried "I´m not a slut, dad"_

 _How could he explain that he simply liked boys instead of girls, that didn´t make him a whore, did it? Did it? A whore? He was still a virgin, for God´s sake! Sebastian cried as silently as possible, trying to muffle his sobs in his sleeve, because one thing that Sven Smythe hated was to see him crying. Crying was for girls and for the weak. A Smythe never cries, he always said._

 _The man stepped closer to his son. The lightning outside lit the room up, making his face visible for a second. Sebastian felt a cold hand taking him by the wrist and in a single move he was flipped over onto his stomach. Sebastian hid his face in the pillow and covered his head with his arms. He heard the door opening and a second pair of footsteps approaching his bed. There was someone else in the room. Sven held his son´s neck, keeping him still. He bent down and whispered to his ear._

 _"_ _Let me show you what your little statement means"_

 _And suddenly the blankets were pulled away from his body and tossed to the floor. But both Sven´s hands were holding Sebastian, so who was it? Who was there?_

 _Sebastian felt the mattress dip as the third person kneeled on it. He tried to move and get away, but his father´s hands were holding him steady._

 _The other man took him by the ankles and spread his legs apart. Then he pulled down Sebastian´s pajama bottoms and his boxers and placed himself between his legs._

 _"_ _Daaaaad, please nooooo!", Sebastian cried out. He tried everything in his power to free himself from the other man, but he wasn´t strong enough, not nearly strong enough._

 _Sven Smythe was absolutely silent, he let go his son´s wrists and sat down on a chair, next to the bed. In the dark Sebastian could see him lighting up a cigarette and leaning back, watching the scene in front of him._

 _Sebastian heard a zipper and he knew what was coming. He cried and begged, but it didn´t help. The other man was even stronger than his father. Then his own painful screams filled the night as he felt the man thrusting into him without any warning._

 _"_ _Daaaaad, please! It hurts!", he screamed._

 _The pain was too much to take, Sebastian felt his insides exploding as the man pulled out only to thrust in again, harder and harder each time._

 _"_ _Daddy, pleeeeease-I-I´m sorryyyyy", he begged as he was brutally violated. His father remained unnerved. Maybe if Sebastian screamed louder someone would hear him. But the storm was so loud that his words were drowned and he realized that nobody would come to his aid._

 _"_ _What´s the problem, kid? I thought you fags liked taking it up the ass…"_

 _Sebastian bawled into his pillow. He had no more strength to resist, his voice died out. He felt dizzy and sick to his stomach. Then after what seemed an eternity, the man pulled out of him and left the room._

 _Sven finished his smoke. Then he lifted himself and exited wordlessly._

 _Sebastian couldn´t even bring himself to move. He remained there, sobbing silently in the dark. His thighs felt sticky and disgusting, the pain was insufferable and he was sure he was bleeding._

 _It was past midnight when Sebastian finally lifted himself. Everything hurt, he couldn´t stand straight, so he practically dragged himself to the bathroom. He switched on the light with a trembling hand. And then he saw his own legs covered in blood and he felt more blood leaking from his inside and running down his thighs. He bent over and threw up in the sink. He didn´t have the heart to look in the mirror. He felt dirty and used, like a cheap piece of meat or a toy. A broken toy that had been manhandled, that nobody wanted and had been cast away forever._

 _Sebastian turned on the shower. The hot water burned on his skin. He showered for half an hour, washing and scrubbing, but no matter how hard he tried, he still felt filthy. There was something that couldn´t be washed off…EVER! He understood it right then. And he cried._

 _He didn´t sleep in his bed that night. He knew he never would sleep in it again. In fact he could barely even look at it. Instead he curled up in a corner, shaking from the cold. The blankets were all stained, he wouldn´t use them. He preferred to freeze. So he squeezed his eyes shut, hugging his stuffed bunny to his chest and cried himself to sleep._

 **It was hard to write this. But don´t worry, Sebastian will get better.**

 **Please let me know what you think! Reviews are love!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I know it´s been a while, but the story continues. Thank you for reading!**

 _A day passed without anybody coming to check on Sebastian. He was too afraid to leave his room. He heard the house staff moving around, he smelled something sweet coming from the kitchen. But this place didn´t feel like his home anymore, it had become hostile. So Sebastian ignored how his stomach growled from hunger and he became numb to the coldness. He didn´t cry, he didn´t think, his mind was blank. Altogether he remained curled up in that very same corner for two days without even noticing the time passing by._

Kurt was unable to speak, unable to breath. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to cry, he wanted to die.

Guilt was heavy on his shoulders as he realized a terrible fact.

"I didn´t know that…", he whispered with a trembling voice "I should have noticed that something was happening…I-I should have done something…"

He looked at Sebastian.

"I am so sorry….", he whispered.

But Sebastian shook his head.

"You couldn´t know that…I never told anyone, you´re the first…"

But Kurt didn´t feel any better. He could have noticed if he had cared. But truth was, he had never cared about Sebastian back then. They had been enemies. Now it was too late, the damage was done.

"Seb, who-who did it?", Kurt asked hesitantly.

"I don´t know…I never saw his face. My father had many people working for him. Drivers, bodyguards-"

Sebastian couldn´t bring himself to say more.

"What happened after that?"

"I was taken back to Dalton, the driver took me. I didn´t go back home for the holidays. I only went back after we finished school, the day you found me…"

Sebastian excused himself and went to the bathroom. Kurt used those few minutes to shed the tears that he could no longer contain. Someone like Sven Smythe represented everything that was wrong in this world. People who were obsessed with money and drunk with power, they thought they could own the world just because they could purchase it. To them, everything had a price, everything went to the highest bidder. The only thing that mattered to them was to own as much wealth as possible by whatever means it took. People like Sven Smythe dumped on everybody else. A boy like his own son didn´t fit into that world. And Kurt just couldn´t get that image out of his mind, of Sebastian hiding in the corner of his room, cold and scared…and hurt. The only thing he longed for was somebody to love him for who he was.

Kurt had to wipe away his tears quickly as he heard Sebastian coming back. He sat down again and Kurt noticed that he was looking very pale and fragile.

"Are you alright, Seb?"

The other boy shook his head.

"I don´t feel good…my-my stomach hurts"

Kurt imagined Sebastian had just thrown up. And he knew it wasn´t a food poisoning. It was the memories.

"Come, it´s bedtime", he said lifting himself and Sebastian followed him to their bedroom. _Their_ bedroom, how weird it sounded in his head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt lay awake in bed, still trying to digest everything he had heard from Sebastian earlier in the evening. How could he possibly sleep after hearing this? How-? And then he figured that for Sebastian it would be even harder to find any sleep tonight.

He rolled over to the edge of the bed and looked down to the figure laying on the floor next to him.

"Seb?", he whispered "You awake?"

"Yeah. Can´t sleep."

Kurt realized that the storm had not yet passed. He took out his hand from under the warmth of his blanket and reached down to hold Sebastian´s hand. Sebastian took it, he sat up and leaned his head against Kurt´s mattress. Kurt hadn´t expected him to reach out for physical contact, but he was gladly surprised.

"You wanna sleep here until the storm passes?", Kurt asked carefully.

Sebastian looked at Kurt shyly and nodded.

"Come", Kurt said and scooted over. Sebastian hesitantly crawled under the covers, still holding on to Kurt´s hand.

The warm blanket covered his cold body. He rested his head on the pillow. They were face to face, only a few inches separating them and in the space between their bodies their hands were connected. It was dark, but they could still recognize each other´s features. Kurt was too shocked to say anything. He couldn´t believe that he was sharing his bed with Sebastian. And he thought, he must have done something right in the past few weeks to have earned the other boy´s trust.

Sebastian breathed softly, the storm didn´t seem that scary anymore, now that someone was protecting him. No, not just someone, Kurt! He was so close to the other boy and yet he didn´t feel frightened, he didn´t feel threatened. It was too good to be true, wasn´t it?

"Kurt?", he asked softly.

"Yes?"

"Remember what you…what you said the other day? I mean…at the train station?"

"Of course"

"Did you mean it?"

"Yes."

Sebastian blushed and he smiled shyly.

"Can you… can you s-say it again?"

Kurt smiled fondly. He couldn´t believe how his heart melted in his chest, in a way he had never before experienced, never even imagined to be possible.

"I love you, Sebastian."

He felt it again. That strange warmth in his belly, that little squeeze around his heart. Those simple words were so magical for Sebastian, he couldn´t hear them enough times. But there was something else about it, one piece of the puzzle was still missing.

"Kurt, what does that mean?", he asked and he felt embarrassed, like he was asking a question everyone knew the answer to, everyone except him.

Kurt was thoughtful for a moment. How do you define love? How do you put it in words? How do you explain love to a person who has never known it? That would be like trying to explain colors to a blind man. And Kurt understood it then. You can´t just look it up in a dictionary. You can´t because this word is different from all the other words.

"I don´t know how to define love, Seb. I think it´s beyond what words can explain", he said "…but if you let me, I will try and show you…"

And there in the middle of a stormy night, after having relived the worst of his nightmares, Sebastian was smiling brightly and sharing the bed with a boy who was telling him that he loved him, whatever in God´s name that meant.


	14. Chapter 14

The tiniest bit of light peeked through the curtains, reflecting on the angelic features of the boy that was peacefully sleeping in Kurt´s bed. The other boy contemplated him silently, not daring to wake him up. It had been Sebastian´s first uneventful night of sleep, no nightmares, no panic attacks, no fever.

Careful not to wake his roommate, Kurt slid out of bed and adjusted the blanket around Sebastian.

"I´ll be right back", he whispered and tiptoed all the way down to the kitchen.

Kurt took out a tray and prepared some fruit and yogurt, a healthy breakfast for Sebastian. He put on the kettle and scrolled through his phone as he waited for the water to boil. Carole had sent a message asking how they were doing and for Kurt to call her when he had a few minutes to spare.

Kurt took the opportunity and dialed Carole´s number.

"Hi Kurt, I see you got my message! How is everything going over there?"

"Good. We´re doing good."

Kurt knew he didn´t sound very convincing.

"How´s Sebastian feeling?"

Burt had broke the news to Carole and explained her the situation. She was obviously concerned, about both of the boys.

"Well, some days are better than others, but he´s a lot better", Kurt explained.

"What about his injuries?"

"Almost healed. I think the psychological issue will take a little longer, though…"

"That´s normal. It´s to be expected after what he went through… alright honey, I just wanted to make sure things were under control. You know you can tell me anything and I will get home right away if you need any help."

"I know, thank you…But don´t worry. We´re fine…Although there´s something I…I ´m not sure how to approach to", Kurt stated "I…he…he was…Oh, God, it´s hard to say it out loud…His father-he had someone else abuse him…sexually."

A brief moment of silence followed.

"Oh my goodness", Carole´s voice was barely above a whisper.

"I know…"

"Kurt, this is worse than I imagined. I-I don´t know…I don´t think this is something that can be handled easily, honey."

"What-what do you mean?"

"Kurt, these kinds of traumas require a specialist. Maybe it´s best for him to get professional help."

"You mean a shrink?!"

"I don´t know, sweetheart…but there are institutions where they can help him, where he can get the treatment he needs."

Kurt didn´t like any of it, the statement just sounded wrong. Everything about it seemed foul.

"You mean drugs?! To drug him until he can´t even remember his own name? So that instead of coping with the things that happened he gets drugged to the point of numbness so he can forget them?! Is that really what you´re suggesting?"

"Kurt, darling, please don´t get me wrong. I know you want to help. Look, we´ll figure this out when we get home. OK? We´ll figure it out together. I promise."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt knew that his stepmother meant well, but she didn´t know Sebastian. She hadn´t seen him, hadn´t talked to him or taken care of him. If she had, she wouldn´t honestly believe that this boy belonged in such a place.

He finished preparing breakfast and carried it upstairs. He sat the tray down on the nightstand next to the bed. His momentary anger subsided when he saw Sebastian´s green eyes opening. He was the most beautiful when he was still sleepy.

"Good morning, Seb."

"Hi", Sebastian mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah", he said "Is that…for me?"

"Yep. You like breakfast in bed?", Kurt asked, setting the tray on Sebastian´s lap.

"I…guess I do"

No one had ever woken him up with such a sweet surprise. Sebastian wondered if breakfast in bed wasn´t something so unusual. Maybe that was what people did.

He started with the fruit slices, then he had some of the scrambled eggs and even managed to devour the bowl of cereal.

"What about you?", he asked, suddenly realizing that Kurt had only brought a milkshake for himself.

"Diet"

"Seriously Princess, if you wanna make a fat pig of me, at least join me so I´m not the only one around."

"Like any of what you ate stayed on you…it washes right through! You´re so damn lucky!"

Kurt picked up the empty plates and cups and brought everything down t the kitchen. He returned upstairs, he opened the curtains and looked outside.

"Sebastian!", he yelped in excitement "the lake! It´s frozen!"

Sebastian eyed the other boy suspiciously.

"Sooo?"

"So get dressed, we´re going ice skating!"

Kurt´s face was shining brighter than a Christmas tree and Sebastian felt quite silly about himself, because he, once again, felt like he couldn´t catch up with so many things.

"I never-", he said, but Kurt shook his head.

"There´s always a first time", he said sweetly.

Kurt´s enthusiasm was so contagious that Sebastian found himself following him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The freezing air outside was merciless on their faces, making their cheeks bright pink. It was a short walk to the lake. Everything around was covered in thick snow, decorating the houses and trees beautifully. The lake was indeed completely frozen. It was early and the two boys were clearly the only souls around. They sat down on a bench and Kurt handed Sebastian one of the two pairs of skates he carried and showed him how to put them on.

That was the easy part, though. Walking on them was the real issue, Sebastian found out. It was difficult to get balanced and he had to support himself on Kurt´s shoulders not to fall.

Kurt led him slowly to the icy surface and once Sebastian had balanced himself on his skates, he let go of Kurt´s shoulder, managing to stand on his own.

Kurt smiled at him encouragingly and Sebastian smiled back.

"Ehm, how-I mean, now what-"

Sebastian had no idea how to move on these things.

"Just watch me", Kurt said.

He skated away and made a few rather elegant rounds, showing Sebastian the basic moves. Kurt made it look so easy. He stopped next to Sebastian and took his hand.

"Come, we´ll do it together. That´s how my dad taught me when I was younger."

Sebastian held Kurt´s hand tightly, almost painfully, he was clearly afraid to slip. Kurt moved slowly and Sebastian mimicked his moves. He was a bit clumsy, but being a good observer, he caught up quite well. Kurt started to move a bit faster, he felt his hand being squeezed harder.

"Relax, you´re doing a great job. It´s like dancing…"

Sebastian breathed in deeply and thought of dancing. He was a good dancer after all. They moved faster then and before they noticed, they had made two full rounds, drawing a big circle on the ice.

"I´m letting go of your hand now, OK?", Kurt said "You just keep doing the same moves. Ready?"

"Oh, ehm, yes, I´m ready", Sebastian replied, not completely sure.

Anyway he let go of Kurt´s hand. His body automatically moved on, his skates sliding across the ice for a few meters.

"Just don´t look down to your-"

But before Kurt had finished delivering that advice, Sebastian had lost his balance and his knees and hands hit the ground. Kurt rushed over and kneeled down.

"Oow", Sebastian whined.

"It´s OK, you´re alright", Kurt confirmed after searching the boy for injuries. He rubbed Sebastian´s knees and applied a soft kiss to each of his gloved palms.

"I wanna try again", Sebastian said, holding out his hands for Kurt to help him up.

They made a few steps holding hands before Sebastian was ready to let go again. This time he remembered to look straight ahead and much to his surprise it became a lot easier that way. Of course he wasn´t as quick and elegant as Kurt, but he had soon figured out the basics and he loved it. He was reminded of the day when he had been on the horse´s back, feeling like he was flying. He smiled brightly and now finally he understood the look on Kurt´s face earlier that morning. This was pure bliss.

The other boy skated a few feet ahead of him, then he turned around and skated backwards, maintaining eye contact with Sebastian. He smiled at him and Sebastian did so, too. And he was probably so foolishly distracted by Kurt, that he suddenly found himself hitting the ground once again, this time landing on his butt. Kurt skated over, concerned. But Sebastian just laughed as he sat on the ice.

"My ass is freezing!", he said, holding his hands up to Kurt once again.

They both couldn´t stop laughing as they made their way back to the house. Sebastian let Kurt get ahead a few steps, then he crouched down and formed a snowball. He aimed at Kurt´s back, but it ended up hitting his ass.

"Hey!", Kurt snapped, turning around in surprise "You-!"

He hurried to make a snowball of his own and tossed it at Sebastian, hitting his shoulder.

"How dare you, Princess!", Sebastian hissed and quickly gathered enough snow in his hands to form an even larger ball. The same did Kurt. It was a split second sooner that Sebastian had finished his and hit Kurt´s head, leaving his hair full of snowflakes. The fight continued until they were both out of breath, sitting down in the snow.

"Hey, let´s make a snowman!", Sebastian said, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

And so they began to form a big ball of snow and a smaller one to put on top as head. It was really Sebastian who made most part of the work. Kurt was pretty much exhausted from all the previous action and Sebastian was still so full of energy, he could have gone all day.

It was these moments that Kurt found himself contemplating the other boy in utter adoration. He was so full of life, so bright and so easy to love. Kurt watched him collecting stones that he used for the snowman´s eyes and sticks that he used as arms. He even asked Kurt to get a carrot to make the nose.

This infinitely sweet boy who had never had anybody to take him outside, anybody to show him the world, to play with him and laugh with him… he had missed out on so many things. Kurt didn´t mind, though. He would gladly spend all day with him, helping him catch up with these things, these trivial moments that for some reason made the most special of days.

He couldn´t picture Sebastian locked up in an institution, in those awful white prisons. He couldn´t imagine putting him on drugs. Sebastian was too special of a soul to be put through those things. They would break him. . He didn´t need any of that. All he needed was love.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi everybody. I know it´s been forever, I can´t believe how much time went by. I finally fund the time to come back to this story I love so much, and I intend to update every week until I finish it. Thank you, if you are still here with me, reading, and especially if you take your time to review.**

 **Please enjoy!**

Christmas came. It was a perfectly white day, thick snow covering the town from corner to corner. Despite being just two teenage boys, Kurt and Sebastian had actually managed to set up a more or less decent Christmas atmosphere. They had brought in a small tree, decorated it, made cookies, a snowman…and last but not least, a real Christmas dinner, a turkey. Of course it was one of those where all you have to do is throw them in the oven and wait, but nonetheless, they succeeded at not burning it.

Christmas dinner was eaten on the couch. There was no need for formalities and while Kurt restrained himself from having a second round due to his diet, Sebastian had not two, but three rounds of turkey, having to eventually unbutton his shirt when he was done.

"That was a food orgy", Sebastian stated after they had cleared the dishes and moved back to the couch with two cups of tea.

"I swear I will only eat salad for a month, starting tomorrow", said Kurt "Let me call my parents. I´ll be right back." He disappeared into the kitchen.

Sebastian glanced at the shelves filled with books. His eyes spotted a photo album and he picked it out. Curiously he turned a few pages. There were pictures of a younger Burt and an unmistakable little Kurt. Sebastian couldn´t suppress the laughter.

"What is so funny?", Kurt had chosen that precise moment to show up again. "Hey, gimme that!"

He snapped the album from Sebastian´s hand and spotted the awful picture of him wearing a stupid sweater and displaying an ever more awful haircut.

"Forget that you ever saw that!"

"Come on, let me see."

Sebastian took back the album from Kurt´s hands, who just rolled his eyes.

"Fine, suit yourself…but this is unfair. I don´t get to see your embarrassing pictures."

"I don´t have any of those, I always looked handsome. There are no ugly pics of me. It´s just impossible, Princess."

"Oh God, silly Sebastian is back…"

The taller boy kept going through the album despite Kurt´s misery.

"That one is actually nice. I hadn´t seen it in a long time" said Kurt pointing to one of the pictures "There aren´t so many pics of me and mom…", he smiled fondly "I miss her a lot."

"I´m sorry", Sebastian said, feeling he might have made a mistake. He handed the album back to Kurt, suddenly remembering his own mom and the only picture he had of her.

"It´s alright", Kurt said.

"So, your dad raised you all by himself?", Sebastian wondered.

Kurt nodded.

"I don´t think it was easy for him, especially after he realized that I wasn´t like the other boys. He was patient and he did his best to open his mind and try to understand me. But he suffered a lot every time I got bullied…I guess he wanted to protect me from the world so badly that it crushed him when he realized it was impossible."

Kurt turned a few pages. So many memories came back. His childhood had been a happy time after all. Even with all the bad things that went down, he had been lucky. Sebastian hadn´t.

"Seb…would you tell me more about your childhood?", he asked "That´s only if you feel like it, of course…"

Sebastian bit his lip, looking away for a moment. But then he nodded.

"What do you wanna know?", he asked.

"Anything you wish to share."

A long pause followed as Sebastian tried to organize his thoughts. Too many events flashed through his mind.

"Well…", he started "I was alone a lot of the time…I mean, at home, after school. I had lots of toys and stuff, I didn´t lack anything. But there was no one to play with."

"Who watched you all day?"

"The nannies. But they were busy doing their things, they didn´t really have the time or the interest to be with me…except for one. The first one, she…she was different. She cared about me. I don´t remember a lot, though. I was too young."

"What was she like?"

"Hispanic. She had worked for my mom when she was young. And when she married my dad she went with mom. I remember that because she told me stories of my mom when she was a little girl. She was the only one to ever tell me anything about mom."

"What was her name?"

"Her name was Maria. When my mom died she took care of me. I don´t remember my dad being around then. I even learned a bit of Spanish with her, but I forgot all after she left."

"How come she left?"

"I think my dad fired her. I don´t know. It was after the first time he beat me. I just remember that she came into my room one day and she was crying and she hugged me and said she had to leave. She had already packed her things. I cried because I didn´t understand why she was leaving. I was five."

"So a new one came?"

"Mhm. Several actually. They never lasted too long. But none of them were like Maria. They didn´t care, so I didn´t care either."

"And what-what about…your dad?", Kurt asked carefully.

"Relax, it´s OK if you ask", Sebastian replied "Uhm he, well he was absent, like I said. I didn´t see him around often, sometimes for lunch or dinner, but he was too busy."

There was another pause as Kurt tried to figure a way of asking questions without screwing things up.

"He wasn´t always abusive, if that´s what you wanna know…he was mostly just indifferent…and busy. I mean I always had everything I could ask for. Clothes, toys, money…whatever. And sometimes he would spend a day with me. But it was OK. I mean it only got bad when he…when he got drunk…"

"He got abusive only when he drank?"

"Yeah. I think he remembered mom and that triggered his anger towards me. I just tried to avoid him when I knew he was drunk…But he didn´t beat me more than two times. I forgave him, I didn´t resent him…I figured I deserved it…because I was guilty for mom…things only really changed when he found out about me…that´s when I learned who he really was."

There was silence again. Kurt took Sebastian´s hand.

"Did you ever see Maria again?"

"No. I would like to, though. Because all the things that she told me about mom, you see…I have forgotten most of them and I would like to remember…"

A smile formed on Sebastian´s lips when he spoke about his mom. That smile was Kurt´s favorite attribute of Sebastian. He had to make an effort to stop staring at the other boy.

"Hey", he said to change the topic "ready for the presents?"

"Presents?", Sebastian wondered.

Kurt took his hand and led him over to the Christmas tree. They sat down on the carpet and Sebastian watched as Kurt took a medium sized box with red ribbons from under the tree. His heart sank, because he had not expected this and he had no present for Kurt. He would be so disappointed.

Kurt placed the box on Sebastian´s lap and smiled brightly. "Merry Christmas, Sebastian", he said sweetly.

Sebastian returned the smile, feeling terribly guilty for not having anything to give to Kurt in return. Curiosity gained the better of him as he carefully opened the box. Inside were handfuls of shredded paper and in between a simple, plain envelope. It was a letter. Sebastian took it in his hands and then his heart stopped, as he read the name of the sender: New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts.

His hands trembled and he looked at Kurt. "What-what", he stuttered "what is this? Wh-where did you-".

"I called Dalton a two days ago. They had received it that same morning. They said they wanted to call you after the holidays, but I figured it would be a nice surprise. I hope that is OK…", Kurt said.

"Eh-yes, yes, it´s fine…", Sebastian said, still shaking nervously. This envelope contained the Yes or No to his biggest dream, his only place to go and the one and only chance he had of becoming something. If it was a No, what would he do then? Where would he go? He couldn´t live off Kurt´s generosity. Suddenly he was scared to open it.

And so was Kurt. They both watched the envelope in silence. Sebastian couldn´t bring himself to open it. Kurt put his hands on Sebastian´s shoulders and looked at him. "Whatever that letter says, I will be right here for you and we will figure this out together." Sebastian took a deep breath. "Ok", he said. His hands opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. In the absolute silence, the sound of paper was almost too loud. Sebastian held the letter in front of his eyes, Kurt closed his and silently prayed. When he opened them again, a single tear was rolling down Sebastian´s cheek. He looked at Kurt.

"Kurt…", he whispered clutching the piece of paper "I got the audition…"

The tears on Sebastian´s face multiplied, but they were mixed with the brightest smile he had ever displayed. He laughed and cried, relieved and unbelieving at the same time. Kurt felt his heart beating again. It was a Yes, oh thank God, it was a Yes. He smiled and laughed and before he knew, Sebastian had thrown his arms around the other boy´s neck and Kurt wrapped Sebastian in a hug. When he finally let go, Sebastian looked at Kurt, still wiping the happy tears from his face.

"Thank you, Kurt", he said.

Kurt smiled "I did nothing, Seb."

"You did everything! You-you found me …you gave me a home, you took care of me when I was sick and you took me to prom. And I…", Sebastian looked down in shame "I didn´t deserve any of that after what I did to you…I have only brought you problems you don´t need and now I…I don´t even have a present for you…I´m sorry…"

Kurt cupped Sebastian´s cheeks.

"I don´t need you to give me anything. I have everything I need right here", he said "YOU are my Christmas present. And I could never ask for more."

Ever so gently, Kurt´s finger brushed over Sebastian´s lips. They moved closer, their hearts beating faster and faster. And then their lips met. It was delicate and sweet and salty. Sebastian tasted like honey. Kurt wanted to stop time and make that kiss last forever. Sebastian felt butterflies in his stomach, Kurt tasted like mint and cherry. His heart was exploding in his chest even after they lips had parted.

"I love you, Sebastian", Kurt whispered.

So this was love, Sebastian said to himself. This was what it felt like to love and be loved. His cheeks flushed.

"I love you, too, Kurt."

It was the first time he ever said that to anybody and he decided that this was the most beautiful collection of words that he would ever speak.


End file.
